Category Archives: NLP Practitioner

Provocative Therapy and Coaching Workshop

I am hosting a workshop with my good friend Phil Jeremiah for coaches, hypnotherapists, therapists and change workers in Newcastle.

Humour can help to break old patterns and establish new ones

So many research papers and books tell us of the positive effects of laughter. Apparently 20 minutes of laughter is equivalent to 20 minutes of physical activity, likened to an inner form of jogging. It may well act as a buffer against day to day stressful perceptions. However, laughter is not easy to come by in our mixed up fear driven world. Consequently Thought Provoking Dialogue sets out to challenge our sometimes negative mind-sets and self-limiting beliefs.

Phil provides training, motivational speaking and support to organisations in the use of humour. Laughter in the workplace is proven to reduce symptoms of stress and can promote good team working in a fun way with groups or individuals. This two day workshop offers us the opportunity to experiment with, understand why and how, and develop confidence in using humour in coaching or therapy.

It’s a must for your development and an even greater must for right now – with our economic and social structures all in turmoil, we could all do with a little humour to help us frame it in ways that are useful to and for us and to and for our clients.

This weekend workshop takes place May 12-13 and is excellent value at £125 AND you are guaranteed outrageous laughter and learning as well as highly workable and client centred ways of engendering change. Book your place now!


Workshop Options



Northern Changeworkers, Counsellors, Coaches & Therapist Conference : May 14-15

I am seriously delighted and very excited to now be announcing the first Northern ChangeWorkers, Counsellors, Coaches and Therapists Conference ( NCCCTC ), here in Newcastle. A conference where we are continuing to highlight The North East as a centre for Excellence in Change Work and Therapy.

With our Magnificent Seven presenters, we can all draw from their experience and absorb their uniquely individual approach to successful change work.

Get their real MASSIVE value insights and their methods that the top North East Change Professionals, Coaches and Therapists use One to One with clients.

A genuine golden opportunity to learn from top North East change workers and to do some great networking and create new relationships. Book right away as there are limited places …

 

 

Conference topics will include:

  • General ways and methodologies for Brief Therapy.
  • Working with Eating Disorders.
  • Grief and Bereavement.
  • Solution Focused Brief Therapy.
  • Self Acceptance.
  • Dealing with Guilt.
  • True Co-Creative Coaching Alliances.

Enter your name & email now to receive a FREE audio CD interview with Harry Knox ( Brief Grief Therapy ) and Sharon Cox ( Eating Disorders ) discussing their backgrounds and providing insights into how they work in their specialised fields.

 

The NCCCT conference, over two days in May 14-15, is specifically for all of us people involved in professional change work as counsellors, therapists and coaches. And now by attending you will get:

  • Insights and practices of the top professionals.
  • The best value conference this year by far.
  • Specific methods for your client groups.
  • Incredible networking opportunities.

The ticket price for this two full day conference is only £40 and this IS incredible value for a two day conference. BUT

If you ACT NOW and are one of the first 100 people to book your place you get your ticket for ONLY £30. So, go ahead and BOOK YOUR PLACE now!

 

 

As well as all attendants receiving a series of interviews with the presenters which will give you a general overview of the presenters unique way of working all conference participants will be able to discover the ways and methodologies in which to work with your clients with Eating Disorders, Grief and Bereavement, Solution Focused Therapy, Self Acceptance, Guilt, True Co-Creative Coaching Alliances and a great deal more.

NCCCTC is taking place in May 14-15 in Newcastle upon Tyne 2011. Be Sure You Attend!

Introducing our presenters for 2011, each with many years of both one to one experience as well as excellent group facilitation skills:

Harry KnoxBereavement and Brief Grief Therapy
With an unparalleled career of over 30 years working in psychiatry in the NHS. Harry now splits his time between supervision, one to one therapy and training facilitation. As a Master practitioner and accredited trainer of NLP, Harry has a unique, humorous and entirely engaging style to change work and is the creator of ‘Brief Grief Therapy’.

Sharon CoxEating Disorder Specialist
Sharon is a BACP accredited counsellor, with a private practice based in North Tyneside, offering both short and long-term counselling for a wide range of psychological and emotional concerns. She provides counselling supervision to both training and qualified counsellors and has extensive experience in Substance Misuse, Bereavement Care and Victim Support. Sharon’s special interest is in eating disorders. Combining a busy practice and training facilitation she is also studying to gain a PhD in Counselling Studies.

John Wheeler – Solution Focused Brief Therapy
Well published and equally well known in the field of Brief Therapy, John has over 18 years experience in facilitation, clinical supervision and one to one work both internationally and here in the UK. John is also responsible for the excellent BTNE organisation.

Rob McGinleyAnxiety And Depression
Rob S. McGinley is a qualified, experienced and effective counsellor. His extensive background includes bereavement & loss, work stress, relationship & family issues, depression & anxiety and youth counselling. BACP registered, Rob works as a counsellor/ NLP practitioner , has his own small private practice and lectures full time on the counselling foundation degree training program at TyneMet College.

Andy HuntCompassionate Self Acceptance
Andy works with people who give themselves a hard time, judge themselves harshly, feel bad about themselves or spend far too much time having a problem with themselves. Andy’s clients may typically feel irresistibly drawn to choose situations and relationships that reinforce their bad opinion of themselves, Andy helps them to experience and make positive changes. A NLP Master Practitioner, accredited EFT and NLP trainer, Andy is well know for his ability to run change processes while creating a deep and respectful rapport.

Paula McCormack – UK Social Leaders Coach
With over 20 years experience as both an individual and group development facilitator Paula has developed her own unique approach to change and development know as The Adaptive. Paula is dynamic and has an incredible ability to deeply connect and create the space that fosters true discoveries and engenders personal change.

Nigel Hetherington – Addictions & Trauma
Nigel is the NCCCTS organiser. He works as an approved NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy training facilitator, has a private practice and is particularly interested in helping people recover and move forward in life from serious addictions, trauma and abusive relationships. Nigel facilitates regular NLP, Hypnotherapy and Therapist workshops and practice groups in the North East and Newcastle.

This conference is seriously affordable to everyone; Why? Because all of our presenters are dedicated to the real direction and goal of excellence in therapy for all attendees. We are all involved in developing further our skills and ways of practice in mutually beneficial and co-created change alliances.

Your personal investment for this value packed and quality information conference is ONLY £30 for the first 100 registrants. After this the price increases to £40, which is still excellent value. After 5th May the price increases to £50.

 

 

But think about this; £50 for a two day conference with the top therapists, change workers and coaches is still incredible value because you will get to understand the unique ways and methods of the presenters that they use which makes them the very top of their profession and they will be sharing their methods and ways of getting excellent results with their clients.

Spirituality In Coaching and Therapy – Nigel Hetherington & Paula McCormack

The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.

Norman Vincent Peale

Spirituality In Coaching and Therapy – Newcastle NLP and Hypnosis Cafe Monday 7th February 7-9pm : Gosforth Library Newcastle NE3 3HD : £10 Including Biscuits. Book online below.

When we come direct from heart space we create an energetic connection that surpasses the concept of empathy or our multi-sensory capacity. In doing so we create the neutral void that two souls can share to explore, discover, test, challenge and shift. For us, this is our recipe for lasting and generative change.

So in this café Paula and Nigel will facilitate your unpacking of the deeper and more connecting ways in which yours and our therapeutic alliances work. How they are formed, how they grow and the effect and impact they have on our and the world.

We will open and share our thoughts and processes of how to develop co-created alliances by exploring the concepts of projections and reflections prior to, during and after a dynamic interaction. We will also consider projection and reflection in terms of attracting clients into your life for mutual healing and purposeful learnings.

Every person we meet has something to teach us, and every person has something to say that only they can say. We both believe we attract the clients that will help and be beneficial to our ongoing development. This may also include ‘healing’ your past. viz a vie we meet together to co-create something that is more than mutually beneficial …

From this place we’ll look at working from heart space that dynamically co-creates a change process as being fundamental in effective change and evolution work. We will show you how this offers a place that goes way beyond our understanding of rapport. Indeed it transcends the thoughts that if we shared some common value, belief, outcomes, goals and even purpose we can go anywhere in the relationship.

Newcastle NLP and Hypnosis Cafe

Monday 7th February 7-9pm :

Gosforth Library Newcastle NE3 3HD : £10 Including Biscuits.

Book online now.





Newcastle Weight Loss Hypnosis | Jesmond Weigh Loss Hypnosis

We are all so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value we forget that the inner value the rapture that is associated with being alive is what it’s all about‘ – Joseph Campbell

There is something else, much more to losing weigh and weight loss … and this is a fundamental change of attitude and heart … and … getting a real sense, a knowing if you like, of what you will actually feel and experience from losing weight!

Click here to book an appointment for Weight Loss Hypnosis Newcastle in early New Year of 2011.

Public Speaking Hypnotherapy Newcastle

You probably know that the vast majority of people shrink back from the very idea of public speaking.

The fear of public speaking including not being heard, clamming up and potentially making a complete and utter fool of yourself plagues so very many people you would not believe … or actually maybe you DO!!! I know at one time I certainly did!

The more practice you get the more comfortable you can become with public speaking. My own experience of this was, initially it terrified me! Honestly it did. And at some point I realised and grasped what I can say has massive meaning and value to me as well as others.

We all have thoughts, feelings and insight we want to share with the people we really want to connect with. Remember … Your purpose in public or group or peer speaking is to share how and what you feel, think and know for a purpose that is bigger than you that will benefit all.

The Common Problems

There are three very common and often interlinked problems for people facing public speaking and they are this :

  1. You have ( in the past ) had one or more experiences of doing this and it going horribly wrong.
  2. You have worried and worried and worried and … Dun It And … What happened … It went HORRIBLY.
  3. You have worried and worried and worried and … Thought The Worst And … You haven’t even done it yet!

So what is your solution?

Clearing up any problems from the past and literally putting that out of your mind. The past is the past, yet it can come back to haunt you … unless you deal with it.

Starting to cultivate the attitude of what you actually want to have happen. Not what you don’t! The attitude of a truly positive outcome where you are fully able to speak your truth from your heart is empowering. You feeling congruent and confident in and with what you say will show.

Knowing your true purposes and motivations will help you set a direction and focus your intention to talk from your heart and also be heard.

How You Can Speak Your Truth From Your Heart

I can help you remove blocks from the past, set your focus on what you want and make you purpose clear … So you can … speak publicly with a real conviction and congruence.

Click Here to book an appointment to Learn To Speak Your Truth With Passion and Purpose

Newcastle Trauma PTSD Resolution Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

The majority of traumatic memories or post traumatic stress intrusions can usually be successfully cleared in one to two session.

Here is a demonstration from Hypnotherapist Nigel Hetherington using NLP EMI – Eye Movement Integration to remove the associated emotional residue from a traumatic experience.

NLP Eye Movement Integration is the creation of Steve and Connirae Andreas.

Weigh Loss Hypnotherapy Newcastle Jesmond Gosforth Hexham

Struggling to become a desirable and healthy weight is one of the most common and often ever present problems people today are facing. Weight issues are not usually genetic, probably not your diet and not destiny. You can change and this means cleaning up your past and changing your attitudes and habits to support more than just losing weight.

There are very many reasons or causes for this problem. Knowing the reasons as to why you are overweight and potentially emotionally depressed with the situation usually wont help you lose weight and keep it off. Changing who you were and becoming the person you want to be will. There is very likely some connection with your past, an emotional issue or maybe a habit and attitude you need to change.

Do you know many over weight people suffer from

  • Low Self Esteem
  • Negative Thoughts
  • Lack Of Confidence
  • Diet – Comfort Eat – Diet – Comfort Eat Cycles
  • A Longing To Discover Real Love

If you have tried every diet or self help book you can and are still getting nowhere fast and you are still fat then read on :

There are three things you honestly need to know about and do to make the changes you truly want in your life happen.

Firstly knowing how the benefits of changing your weight will effect you is extremely important. In short there needs to be a real purpose in your losing weight. It is not about losing weight in and of itself. It is what you will get from losing weight. This may be feeling much more confident, feeling more attractive, increased health benefits and leading a more active life in all areas.

Secondly you need to understand there is some underlying emotional pain that is creating and sustaining your current problem. Remember the brain seeks things to make us feel better. Comfort eating can and does alleviate emotional pain BUT it is only temporary. You eat, feel a little better, feel guilty about binging as well as the unresolved emotional pain and then the cycle starts again like ever increasing circles!

Finally you have to do something about it and then get on with living the way you want to live. This involves getting professional help to help you make changes in your attitude and coach you through the change period to a much better life.

The Brain Stuff

The brains main function is to keep the body in which it resides alive and functioning and to find food, reproduce and other vital requirements. It does this by a complex neuro-chemical endogenous reward mechanism. Simply put, finding food, sex and the other essential needs creates a neuro-chemical reward and makes us feel very good. If you continue looking outside yourself for this you always will …

This system of reward is driven sequentially like this:

Stimulus -> Desire -> Action -> Reward

Let’s call this the SDAR cycle.

Stimulus to find food, sex, or other essential need like security. This can come from your environment, like seeing some favourite food, your partner or even looking for a more comfortable or secure living environment. Stimulus can also come from the inside as in when we think about our emotional state, think about problems or think about a missing loved one.

Desire is thinking about what you want and also what is painful in life. When the pain or emotional turbulence becomes too strong you seek to find a way out. One way is finding something to alleviate the pain, this is temporary and may be eating a cake, chocolate or any activity that temporarily shunts negative thoughts, pain or emotional issues off to one side. But they are still there!!

Action in this case, is putting the next best alternative into action. Usually a stop gap measure. This is doing what you have always done and hoping for a different result. It wont happen, sorry. You need to change what you do. And this means a fundamental change in your attitude towards yourself!

Reward is the feeling you get when you do something to alleviate your emotional pain. Your brain releases some good chemicals and you feel good for a short while but it doesn’t last and then the cycle starts again.

  • What if you can stop this cycle?
  • What if you can honestly heal the emotional pain that is at the heart of your situation?
  • What if you really can make and sustain positive changes that will give you the life and feelings you really what to have?

Comfort eating, drinking or any other activity that temporarily assuages the underlying emotional hurt or pain you are feeling and is a substitute for addressing your real needs and desires. You can honestly never get enough of second best! So now is your open window to let some fresh air of change into you life.

And here is your invitation to take action …

Book an appointment, get your life on track and become who are … sooner … than you may have thought possible.

Book an appointment to turn your life around now.

Tel : 0770 481 8467

email : nigel@nigelhetherington.co.uk

Buddhism, Enlightenment and Learning How To Feel Better – Part Three

thailand buddha handImage by FriskoDude via Flickr

Carrying on from the previous post about NLP and the connections to Buddhism or more precisely one of many ways towards what is tentatively called enlightenment or as I prefer to say living in and having as authentic a life as possible and being comfortable in your own skin …

So, having read the last post and having acknowledged the positive purpose of the unwanted emotion, we can then use one of many NLP therapeutic processes to help heal the regrets of the past.

One of the simplest methods of doing this is to change, what is know as the sub-modalities of the ‘memory’. Our memories are re-experienced through our five senses and the sub modalities are the smaller components of each of our five senses.

Here is one way for you to heal your own regret. Work on one specific ‘regret memory’ at a time and follow the process all the way through.

  1. Remember a situation or memory that at one time you did regret but now, when you think about it you realize and acknowledge the learning and the value of that learning such that having had that experience has in fact made you a much better, more rounded person with far greater resources and skills. Let’s call this the ‘reference memory’.
  2. Still thinking about the memory you, at one time regretted, but now see this as a resource; answer the following questions, making a list of your answers.
    • Where is the memory located? Point to it! Is it up to your left, down to your right, is it central in front of you, is it behind you to the right? You need to find the spatial location. Find out where abouts in your own personal space the memory seems to be.
    • Is the memory colour or black and white?
    • Is the memory like a picture, series of pictures or a DVD movie?
    • Is the memory life size, smaller or bigger?
    • Do you see yourself in the memory or is it like you are looking out of your own eyes?
    • What sounds accompany the memory and what is their location? There may be many or none!
    • What smells are you aware of that accompany this memory?
    • Is the memory sharp and clear or fuzzy and blurred?
  3. Write all your answers down and then go and make a cup of tea and come back in a few minutes.
  4. Now think about the specific situation, memory or incident you do still regret and answer the following questions, make a list of:
    • Where is the memory located? Point to it! Is it up to your left, down to your right, is it central in front of you, is it behind you to the right? You need to find the spatial location. Find out where abouts in your own personal space the memory seems to be.
    • Is the memory color or black and white?
    • Is the memory like a picture, series of pictures or a DVD movie?
    • Is the memory life size, smaller or bigger?
    • Do you see yourself in the memory or is it like you are looking out of your own eyes?
    • What sounds accompany the memory and what is their location? There may be many or none!
    • What smells are you aware of that accompany this memory?
    • Is the memory sharp and clear or fuzzy and blurred?
  5. You now have two lists of the sub modalities of each memory. Here is how to run your own brain. Look for the differences between the two experiences, for example are the two memories in different locations? Is one color and one black and white? You get the idea right! Differences here are the important factors!
  6. Start to make the sub modalities ( one at a time ) of the ‘regret’ memory the same as the ‘reference memory’ you used to regret and notice how your emotional response changes. It is your brain you can make any changes you want to make. Changes can be changed back or kept depending on how you feel.

Now maybe Buddha did not use this specific NLP process ( there are rather a lot to select from ) as he took many days to achieve his enlightenment and this can change how you feel much more rapidly. In a matter of minutes, you can have really practised this skill more fully. But perhaps Buddha had, like the rest of us, a great many regrets so he worked through them all, systematically, one at a time. NLP like Buddhism is about continued practice so please accept the invite to change, one at a time, the things you regret.

NLP is about learning how to run your own brain to get the kind of results you want in a systematic way.

Clean Language Clean Therapy ™ Solutions | Newcastle Hypnotherapy | Newcastle Hypnosis

Newcastle Hypnotherapist Nigel Hetherington demonstrates Clean Language leading into the Clean Therapy ™ model to assist in exploration and a solution orientation with one of the participants.

I have recently been working in Alaska delivering Clinical Hypnotherapy training. Here is the first of two parts of a demonstration of Clean Language and my Clean Therapy ™ Model.

One of the things that make the Clean Therapy ™ approach so powerful is clients never have to talk directly about their problems, which can often cause them even more distress. Using metaphor and physical movement the Clean Therapist directs the process of change at a different level of internal experience that the origional problem. That is, a metaphoric representation is created and then explored. As the metaphor is explored and changed the problem representation will naturally have been explored and changed too.

For Hypnosis in Newcastle and Hypnosis in Hexham contact call 0770 481 8467 or email nigel@nigelhetherington.co.uk

Change Your Mind – Change Your Feelings

Albert Einstein is said to have commented “Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them!”

Here we use a metaphor to represent the problem state and the metaphor IS a different level of thinking!

This is a really neat process to help people move from unresourceful states to really positive and resourceful ones. Using emergent metaphor to change the internal representations or problem states as a 2nd order change process.

The process is created by Kevin Creedon and know as the Cloud Process.

NLP Practitioner Training @ £495 | Newcastle & North East NLP Practitioner Course

white roseImage via dosbears

When we want to make our life better and are frustrated that it is not happening the way we want it to be or not happening at all, there are some things we can do to take action and get better informed and equipped to make the changes we want happen.

This excellent value training begins in January 2011 and concludes in June. The Newcastle NLP Practitioner training course is three days Friday-Sunday each month.

We all experience and face common frustrations and problems just about each and every day.

Here are just some of them:

  • Wasting Time and Energy Worrying about the NOW…
  • Wasting Time and Energy Worrying about the future ( Anxiety )
  • Economy and Money
  • Your Job Security
  • Your Relationships both Personal and Professional
  • You are not happy or satisfied with you present situation
  • A lack motivation
  • Wanting to turn your life around
  • Worried about paying your bills
  • Unable to get on better with others and yourself

Neurolinguistic Programming or NLP is a kind of pseudo psychology developed in the 1970’s. It has grew to massive fame in the UK largely because of Paul Mckenna’s TV shows. NLP is a successful and powerful way of running your own brain, increasing your confidence, managing your state as well as learning and developing ethical influencing and communication tools. It is also a great deal of fun in the learning!

Excellent content, great presentation, great group. All if it linked together, I have really enjoyed it and learned a lot from the course, very useful.

Kim – Manager Outdoor Activity Centre

Taking an NLP Practitioner training will of course not solve each and every one of your problems yet it will give you tools you can use to take much more control of your life and generally feel much better about it. You will change the way you think and interact with others. You will learn how to get on much better with people and literally talk their language.

Totally fab, exceeded my expectations. Thank you very much! The trainers are great and the venue is ideal. For me, its the power and awareness of language are the most useful.

Rob – Counselling Lecturer

This special credit crunch price for the NLP Practitioner Course with six months training is just £495. This really is the most exceptional value certified NLP Practitioner in the UK. It is this price because the current economic climate which demands you get paramount value for your money and because Communicating Excellence is dedicated to increasing the success of all people in our North East community.

I have seen changes in myself that I wouldn’t have thought possible. Thank you so much

Felicity James

18 Participants Max.

Three days per month, Friday-Sunday beginning January 2011. Only £495 Take Action and Book NOW!

Click here for full details and to book your place on the Newcastle NLP Practitioner Training course.

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Drinking Water Before Meal Helps Dieting

A whirlpool in a glass of water

Image via Wikipedia

A recent BBC article claims that drinking two cups of water before a meal will help you with your dieting. The research comes from scientists in Virginia working with 48 adults aged 55 to 75.

Drinking two cups of water, three times a day before meals can help you lose an average of 5 pounds ( That is the same as 2.27 kg ).

Read the full article here on the BBC web site.

If you would like some additional hints and tips to help you lose weight, check out my Weigh Loss Attitude a six page pamphlet in the Free Resources section.

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Even The Top Coaches Have Bad Days

The best thing one can do when it's raining is...
Image by Krikit ♥ via Flickr

All people have off days. Life will continue to throw up circumstances, situations and episodes when we are challenged, hurt, pissed off and injured by our own and other peoples actions or inactions. This is part of being human and the personal evolutions we all experience during our life time.

Alexander Pope said “To err is human; to forgive is divine

Forgive yourself ( and others ) for any pain you feel. Use the pain to transform and motivate yourself to have much more of the life you want. This is not really about material things as I know many people who have excess money, even one who is a millionaire and they aren’t happy.

This is about connecting and discovering your unique life purpose or your true calling and acting from this base. Of course having too little money does cause problems no matter what some life coaches or spiritual gurus say. We all require a certain level of income to meet our basic need. Yet once these needs are met how do you choose to live?

One of comparative mythologists Joseph Campbell’s most famous quotes is “follow your bliss“. The real key to a more than fulfilling life is to discover your bliss and walk that path. Campbell certainly followed his bliss and as a result transformed the thinking and lives of millions of people. And of course you don’t even need to think about the ideas and concepts of following your bliss or discovering your life purpose. It is not for every one yet discovering your bliss requires no special education or prior knowledge. He calls this journey or exploration The Hero’s Journey’ Campbell says this is The Left hand Path and it is not for everyone. Just for those who hear the call to adventure …

So it’s OK to feel hurt, pained and angry. This could be the start of a life transforming journey. Where the real skill comes in is using these powerful and driving emotions to create something better for ourselves and others. This could be the beginning of your own Hero’s Journey. Here is a little clip from one of the Worlds most dynamic coaches Tony Robbins.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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Hypnosis Course

Hypnotherapy Course and Hypnosis Course in Newcastle upon Tyne with Nigel Hetherington.

Hypnosis course approved training with the General Hypnotherapy Standards Council and General Hypnotherapy Register. Graduates are eligible to join the General Hypnotherapy Register and receive membership of both the GHR and The Hypnotherapy Register.

The GHR is the largest organisation for professional hypnotherapist in the UK.

Clinical Hypnotherapy Training Course

Buddhism, Enlightenment and Learning How To Feel Better – Part Two

Buddha Daibutsu, Kamakura, Japan. This statue,...

Image via Wikipedia

Not every reader will be aware of the fact that many of the people who are developing and exploring their own spirituality, interestingly enough, will have something in common with people who are studying NLP or Hypnosis in Newcastle and the North East.

Now these connections may not be immediately obvious, so here is an invitation for you to look at some parallel lines of exploration.

In relating the science of Hypnosis and NLP to the spirituality of Buddhism there are some very clear connections in terms of outcomes or to put it another way, what students from either of these discipline’s can anticipate from their efforts and studies because …

Both Buddhism, Hypnotherapy and NLP at the higher level are concerned with moving towards true personal freedom, compassion and living your own life. Ultimately it is about being able to feel how you want to feel much more of the time and engage in what is truly important to you and satisfy your own values.

So to draw the first parallel let’s again recount the first temptation of the Buddha by the demon Kama, the Buddhas ‘solution’ to this problem and then see how you can do this from an NLP or Hypnosis perspective.

Kama sends by proxy his three daughters Regret ( past), Fulfillment ( present ) and Desire ( future ). Buddha being, still on his immovable spot, disengaged from the field of time, he is able to refute all three emotions and be free from desire, regret and fulfillment.

All very well for Buddha to deal with these emotions but the question many people will be asking is “how do I deal with these emotions?

Let’s explore regret. Regret is specifically about the past. Regret is a reviewing and reliving of past memories and for whatever reasons ( the list could be very long ) ruing the things that either were or were not done. Often times this in not even a choice to relive the memory it just seems to run and re-run all by itself. The brain just seems to do what it wants and not what you want.

Now, what if, like Buddha, you could change your past memories, here specifically regret, such that all the learning’s and education are preserved yet they have a completely neutral or even oddly pleasurable emotional response to the ‘same’ memory?

Looking through the therapeutic lens of applied Hypnotherapy and NLP, regret is an indication that some value, some behavior or experience that is especially important to you was in some way transgressed. This applies irrespective weather the regret is about something that did happen ( and wish it hadn’t ) or something that did not happen ( and wish it had ).

You know, we learn by making ‘mistakes’ so being able to keep the learning and dissolved any unwanted emotion is what this is about.

First and foremost and often the hardest step for people is to acknowledge that the feeling of regret is serving some very positive purpose. This feeling of regret can act like a ‘flag’ or ‘marker’ so that in any similar future situations, you will act differently and in ways that will respect and support the transgressed value.

The third article of this series will give a simple step by step process of how you can change the way you think about regret and start to run your own brain for a change.

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Bill O Hanlon Workshop Newcastle Upon Tyne September 2010

A very special workshop for solution focused and brief therapy professionals.

bill-headshot-bw.jpg“There is no use trying, she said.“One cannot believe impossible things.”“I dare say you haven’t had much practice” said the Queen “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day.Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Possibility Therapy uses the power of acknowledgement to meet people where they are stuck and the power of possibility to invite them into change. Not just a positive approach, this approach recognizes problems, the influence of the past, and cultural, political and gender influences while creating a respectful, hopeful environment for change. It also adds a spiritual dimension to therapy.

Through clear handouts and lectures, videotapes and practice exercises, participants will have the opportunity to not only learn this approach to therapy but also to apply it to their own lives and selves.

Morning session Day 1

  • Introduction to a new way of thinking and working in therapy
    • Discovering solution-oriented therapy
  • First Things First: Starting therapy on the right foot
    • Finding a focus and identifying who wants to change what
    • Assessment as intervention
  • Solution-Oriented Therapy
    • Find exceptions and solutions from the past
    • Evoke competence
    • Notice change rather than stuckness
    • Imagine a future without the problem and work backwards from there

Afternoon session Day 1

  • Possibility Therapy: A further evolution of brief solution-oriented therapy
  • Acknowledgement and possibility
  • Collaboration/non-expert stance
  • Future pull
  • Inclusion

Morning session Day 2

  • Inclusive Therapy: Dissolving resistance (from clients and therapists)
    • Discovering inclusion
    • Three levels of inclusion
    • The Inclusive Self
    • The 3 Cs of spirituality in therapy

Afternoon session Day 2

  • Brief therapy
  • The three kinds of brief therapy
    • Strategies of brief therapy
    • Change patterns
      • Personal and interpersonal
    • Change the doing (action/interaction)
    • Change the viewing (attention/meaning-making)
      • Stories
    • Set achievable and observable goals
    • Small changes can produce big results

Objectives:

  • To learn the components of brief and solution-oriented therapy
  • To learn how to dissolve resistance and create a collaborative environment in therapy
  • To be able to use 5 methods of acknowledgement and possibility
  • To be able to use 3 methods of inclusion

Bill O’Hanlon, MS, LMFT, has authored or co-authored 29 books, the latest being A Guide to Trance Land (W.W. Norton, 2009), Write is a Verb (Writer’s Digest Books, July 2007) Pathways to Spirituality (W.W. Norton), Change 101: A Practical Guide to Creating Change (W.W. Norton, Fall 2006), and Thriving Through Crisis (Penguin/Perigee; winner of the Books for a Better Life Award).

He has published 54 articles or book chapters. His books have been translated into 15 languages: French, Spanish, Portuguese, Swedish, Finnish, German, Chinese, Bulgarian, Turkish, Korean, Indonesian, Italian, Croatian, Arabic and Japanese.

He has appeared on Oprah (with his book Do One Thing Different), The Today Show, and a variety of other television and radio programs. Since 1977, Bill has given over 2000 talks around the world. He has been a top-rated presenter at many national conferences and was awarded the Outstanding Mental Health Educator of the Year in 2001 by the New England Educational Institute.

Bill is a Licensed Mental Health Professional, Certified Professional Counselor, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Bill is clinical member of AAMFT (and winner of the 2003 New Mexico AMFT Distinguished Service Award), certified by the National Board of Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists and a Fellow and a Board Member of the American Psychotherapy Association.

He is known for his storytelling, irreverent humor, clear and accessible style and his boundless enthusiasm for whatever he is doing. His seminars are as entertaining as they are educational.

Where, When and How Much?

This workshop will take place on Saturday 11th and Sunday 12th of September at The Caledonian Hotel, Jesmond, Newcastle upon Tyne.

The workshop will start at 9:30 am and end at 5:30pm on both days.

Workshop fees

  • For the first 10 people to sign up online the fee is just £100
  • The early bird fee of £175 is available until July 19th extended to July 31st
  • The full fee of £225 applies thereafter

The booking system is online and will become live at 8:00am on Wednesday April 21st.

Buddhism, Enlightenment and Learning How To Feel Better – Part One

Buddha statue, Kamakura, Japan
Image via Wikipedia

A great many people who are exploring self development, NLP, personal psychologies, Hypnosis and other healing arts are often also attracted to what I will term as spirituality. Perhaps the most psychologically sophisticated and advanced spirituality on Earth is Buddhism.

As one story goes after plenty of other worldly experiences and adventures Buddha whilst sitting under a Bodhi tree at Bodh Gaya waiting for illumination got to meet a crabby old demon called Kama-Mara. Now some call Mara ( hear the drum role ) a lord of darkness, an evil lord and others say he was a tempter of the nascent Buddha with the temptations of lust, desire, fear and regrets.

Just before Kama-Mara arrived the soon to be enlightended Buddha was surrounded by his followers and hangers on who all sung his praises. But surprise surprise, when Kama-Mara arrived with his massive and terrible army all of the nascent Buddha’s entourage all did a runner and left him on his todd.

You see, Kama-Mara was responsible for, let us say ‘tempting’ Buddha or to put it another way testing, even creating the almost enlightened Buddha’s abilities so Kama-Mara was in fact a very necessary catalyst. This is similar to the anti hero having a very specific role to play, not unlike Judas Iscariot, but that is a different story. These temptations or tests were not like today’s driving test or GCSE’s or some written exam. Oh no dear reader, these were psychologically energetic, potentially destructive and of course if the story is true, physically, very real practical exams with no resit options.

The first temptation Kama sent, by proxy too, was his three daughters Regret, Fulfilment and Desire. He sent his children to do his dirty work.  Like a politician sending in expendable soldiers. These, the nascent Buddha, being still on his immovable spot was so able to refute one at a time desire, regret and fulfilment.

Kama then transformed into Mara and with his army of ogres sent weapons of all description flying towards the sitting Buddha but when the weapons entered his ‘field of non-entity’ the weapons transformed into lotus flowers. Fear and belligerence was dissolved.

Enraged and thwarted ( don’t you just love that word! ) Mara transformed into Dharma, the lord of social duty and spoke to Buddha “You are a Prince of the realm man!, haven’t you seen the news? Looked at the internet? There is a global recession and the people need to have hope and a figure head, that is you my prince, to inspire trust and stability. Do you duty! You must do what is expected of you!”

But Buddha was completely unmoved by this appeal to social duty and called on the Goddess Mother Universe to bear witness that he, Buddha, has the right to be. And the Goddess gives her blessings and acknowledgement.

The elephant that Dharma ( the entity formally known as Karma-Mara ) is riding bows to Buddha, the army of ogres retreats and Dharma in Buddha’s light is dissolved. Buddha then becomes, as this story goes, enlightened.

The second part of this article will explore this story looking through a different lens and lead on to how you can apply this transformation of consciousness to yourself in our more modern world.