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Carrying on from the previous post about NLP and the connections to Buddhism or more precisely one of many ways towards what is tentatively called enlightenment or as I prefer to say living in and having as authentic a life as possible and being comfortable in your own skin …
So, having read the last post and having acknowledged the positive purpose of the unwanted emotion, we can then use one of many NLP therapeutic processes to help heal the regrets of the past.
One of the simplest methods of doing this is to change, what is know as the sub-modalities of the ‘memory’. Our memories are re-experienced through our five senses and the sub modalities are the smaller components of each of our five senses.
Here is one way for you to heal your own regret. Work on one specific ‘regret memory’ at a time and follow the process all the way through.
- Remember a situation or memory that at one time you did regret but now, when you think about it you realize and acknowledge the learning and the value of that learning such that having had that experience has in fact made you a much better, more rounded person with far greater resources and skills. Let’s call this the ‘reference memory’.
- Still thinking about the memory you, at one time regretted, but now see this as a resource; answer the following questions, making a list of your answers.
- Where is the memory located? Point to it! Is it up to your left, down to your right, is it central in front of you, is it behind you to the right? You need to find the spatial location. Find out where abouts in your own personal space the memory seems to be.
- Is the memory colour or black and white?
- Is the memory like a picture, series of pictures or a DVD movie?
- Is the memory life size, smaller or bigger?
- Do you see yourself in the memory or is it like you are looking out of your own eyes?
- What sounds accompany the memory and what is their location? There may be many or none!
- What smells are you aware of that accompany this memory?
- Is the memory sharp and clear or fuzzy and blurred?
- Write all your answers down and then go and make a cup of tea and come back in a few minutes.
- Now think about the specific situation, memory or incident you do still regret and answer the following questions, make a list of:
- Where is the memory located? Point to it! Is it up to your left, down to your right, is it central in front of you, is it behind you to the right? You need to find the spatial location. Find out where abouts in your own personal space the memory seems to be.
- Is the memory color or black and white?
- Is the memory like a picture, series of pictures or a DVD movie?
- Is the memory life size, smaller or bigger?
- Do you see yourself in the memory or is it like you are looking out of your own eyes?
- What sounds accompany the memory and what is their location? There may be many or none!
- What smells are you aware of that accompany this memory?
- Is the memory sharp and clear or fuzzy and blurred?
- You now have two lists of the sub modalities of each memory. Here is how to run your own brain. Look for the differences between the two experiences, for example are the two memories in different locations? Is one color and one black and white? You get the idea right! Differences here are the important factors!
- Start to make the sub modalities ( one at a time ) of the ‘regret’ memory the same as the ‘reference memory’ you used to regret and notice how your emotional response changes. It is your brain you can make any changes you want to make. Changes can be changed back or kept depending on how you feel.
Now maybe Buddha did not use this specific NLP process ( there are rather a lot to select from ) as he took many days to achieve his enlightenment and this can change how you feel much more rapidly. In a matter of minutes, you can have really practised this skill more fully. But perhaps Buddha had, like the rest of us, a great many regrets so he worked through them all, systematically, one at a time. NLP like Buddhism is about continued practice so please accept the invite to change, one at a time, the things you regret.
NLP is about learning how to run your own brain to get the kind of results you want in a systematic way.
