Category Archives: Hypnotherapy Shame Newcastle

Newcastle Hypnosis for Guilt – Nigel Hetherington

Guilt can be a terrible emotion to live with. Hypnosis Newcastle is a way for you to release the often sharp and cutting emotional pain of guilt so you can let go of the past and move on and forward. Newcastle hypnosis can help you learn from your past and keeping the very useful learnings let go of what can be a crippling emotion we call guilt.

When people experience the emotion guilt it can be for a number of reasons. Firstly guilt can be about inaction or action. Guilt can be related to behaviour, thought or both.  Guilt can be experienced by breaking your own personal promises as in yo-yo quitting ( eg dieting, addictions, spending or arguing ) and is very much related to unresolved conflicts of your own personal values.

We can understand guilt and shame to be related to transgressions, that is to say, things a person has or has not done that are not in line with what they believe ( or worse are told ) they should or  should not have done. This feeling is directly related to values be they your own or cultural norms.

A person experiencing guilt re-running past memories, often talking to themselves and as a result feeling very bad. Bad physically and bad emotionally.

Guilt is a Type of Anxiety Disorder

One of the characteristics of anxiety is that a brain scan will often reveal that one hemisphere is more electrically active than the other. Having a real physical sensation accompanying the guilt thoughts would be characterised as anxious arousal and the majority of the activity would likely be found in the right hemisphere.

Guilt is a circular emotion in that the thoughts and feelings repeat much like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Obsessing about guilt may well be linked to  OCD. In OCD there is a great deal of internal mental activity that is tiring and emotionally charged.

Neurologically there is a circuit in the brain that fires with obsessive thoughts. Nerves in the caudate fire creating the urge to ‘do something’. The caudate is responsible for learning and for kinds of ‘automatic thinking’ like ‘remember to wash’ or ‘is the oven off before leaving the house’. Next the orbital prefrontal cortex is activated which gives the feeling that something is wrong. Then the cingulate cortex is activated which keeps attention focuses on feelings of unease.

The amygdalae will be activated because of stress hormones circulating in the brain and bloodstream. Guilt is a very hungry emotion in that it eats up energy, demands an inappropriate stress response and diverts mental energy.

Prolonged worry, stress and anxiety can deplete the brains neurotramsmitter dopamine which in extreme cases could lead to depression.

Stressing about something is stressing. Excessive stress activates the sympathetic nervous system and this in turn releases adrenaline and glucocorticoids which over time impair the bodies immune system along with the general care and repair mechanisms of the body. In short stress in excess as in excess guilt is really bad news for health, both physical and mental.

Possible Historical Origins of Guilt

In the history of the western religion Christianity the idea of original sin is very closely linked to guilt. On committing a ‘sin’ the resulting feeling will be ‘guilt’ and ‘sin’ here is defined as failing to act in accord with some deity’s rules about how you should live your life. A member of the religions organisation can then help the sinner atone and remove the ‘guilt’.

Guilt or the idea and feelings associated with guilt have been used for thousands of years to control populations of people. As well meaning parents of children and of institutions tell people “you should feel guilty for that!” to attempt to control behaviours or even thoughts.

Approximately 50 years after the birth of Christ ( aka Jesus, Yehoshua ben Yosef ) Saul or later St. Paul after his revelation went to find people who would listen to his message. Paul developed real listeners and followers in Corinth.

Joseph Campbell has postulated the debt and repayment theme in modern Christianity is because the people who propagated the eastern Gospels ( which became the western bible ) where the money lenders of Corinth. So it may be that the worshipping Christ to redeem ourselves before god may have originated in the credo of the merchants of Corinth.

Ignorance and Enlightenment – Remorse Not Guilt

The spirituality of the East has nothing to do with debt and repayment. Instead the Orient in terms of spiritual or some may say religious practice is about Ignorance and Enlightenment.

A great book is ‘The Art of Happiness’ by HH Dalai Lama. One story from the book is regarding a monk that killed himself following a conversation with the Dalai Lama. Although the Lama expresses real regret following on from that conversation there is no excessive guilt, no self punishment, no self induced suffering. A genuine sense of remorse without a crippling feeling of guilt can be a wonderful way to guide your actions in the future.

When dealing with guilt it is incredible important but often most difficult to forgive yourself.  Wisdom comes from great experience and great experience comes from making a huge number of ‘mistakes’. Another way to see ‘mistakes’ are as learnings in action.

Moving Through Guilt By Rethinking What Happened

When anyone who is experiencing guilt, which is by definition about the past, at the time of ‘the event’ they never set out to make themselves feel guilty. Think about it, for anything you may have at one time felt a sense of guilt about, at that time you probably did not before hand say something like “I am going to do this ‘X’ and I will feel so guilty about this afterwards BUT I’m still going to do it anyway.” Or maybe you did! At that time you were in accordance with some higher level value that you may not have been conscious of.

No, at the time you were, whether you realised it then or now, acting out on some personal value that you have. Let’s call a ‘value’ some kind of experience you want ( should do ) or don’t want ( shouldn’t do ) that is important to you.

So at the time, if you come to think about it this way, you were acting in accordance with your values. Now, guilt is a reflexive emotion that now as you look back there is a sense of regret and when it is intense enough, that is to say it conflicts with one of your values now you experience guilt as a strong and negative emotion.

As you begin to let go of the feelings of guilt you will not forget what happened. You will begin to feel differently about what happened but you will use your learnings like a behavioural guide. You can let go of the guilt and allow yourself to experience the real value you were acting out from. Recognising this value and acknowledging that you can both change your values so that as appropriate you can either choose a different way in the future or as appropriate become comfortable in your ways of being.

Sometimes it is very difficult to do this yourself and when you really do need help in transforming guilt into something akin to compassion for yourself Hypnosis Newcastle can help you. When considering hypnosis in Newcastle it is important to understand that the intention is to help you change your feelings about yourself for some event or events in the past. You will not forget those events but use these experiences in ways that can help you live a fuller life.

For professional Newcastle hypnosis for moving on from guilt telephone Nigel Hetherington on 0770 481 8467 or email as described in Booking A Therapy Session Newcastle Hypnosis.

Trauma And Intrusive Memories Hypnotherapy Newcastle

One of the most effective and content free ways I know to assist clients over and through a personal trauma and / or  intrusive memories is Eye Movement Integration ( EMI ). EMI is developed by Steve and Connirae Andreas.

Content free, very simply means, your clients, my clients don’t need to discuss ( talk about ) and re-live a seriously traumatic episode for you to assist them in making deep psychological and neurological change. Most client’s don’t want to share the intimate and painful details of a trauma, having to re-live it day in day out is enough.

This is a short video of me teaching aspects of EMI on one of my NLP Practitioner trainings. EMI is as far as I am concerned one of the most important tools in the toolbox of a professional change worker. I run regular workshops in EMI for change professionals.

If you want to see EMI in action with a real participant check out this link.

 

Anxiety Hypnotherapy Newcastle – Nigel Hetherington

Trapped #1

Image by waltimo via Flickr

Anxiety really can be a terrible and consuming thing to experience. Another word for anxiety is WORRY. Newcastle Hypnotherapy with Nigel Hetherington can be a real solution for you.

Anxiety will often reduce your capacity to respond as well as act in the ways you truly want to experience life. Another word for anxiety is worry. Worrying about how things can go wrong or how events can all turn out bad. How would it be when you can set yourself free?

Anxiety or worry is not a disease, it is not a pathology. Many so called counsellors or therapists would have you believe this. This is not true.

Anxiety its a way, a learned way of thinking about the future. Think about this, no one as far as I know was born anxious, it was a learned behaviour. This learned behaviour is all about how to cope and deal with physical / emotional feelings.

Anxiety is a behaviour, it is not a pathology and as such does not need to be suppressed with medication. This means there is no physical disease associated with anxious behaviour. There is of course neurological activity ( ways of thinking ) that are associated with anxiety. You don’t require drugs or medication to change thought patterns. At best drugs will suppress anxiety, they will likely suppress other things too.

If anxiety is really is screwing up your life, you are worrying and worrying and as a result suffering … I can most likely help you change your behaviour. I can assist you in turning your though patterns around. The purpose being to stop worrying and start living a more satisfying and meaningful life.

Cyclic negative, anxiety producing thought patterns tend to go like this.

“What if … but then what, if I don’t … and then What if … but what if …”

So the real key here is to STOP that thought pattern and engage in a better one right …

People who behave anxiously are never anxious about some general things. You are anxious about something specific and worst of all it has not happened. Anxiety is all about thinking about the future and creating, almost always, the worst possible outcome for yourself and others. Think about it, how could it be different if you started habitually thinking about better outcomes in the future?

Newcastle Hypnotherapy for Anxiety combines NLP, Hypnosis and Humour in a way that will really help you move through your old thought patterns and into a whole new way of thinking.

If you have tried counselling and it really hasn’t worked after lots of session and you are totally committed to making the changes in your life you honestly want … act now …

For a completely confidential and solution orientated approach for you to help getting yourself out of anxiety and worry and Getting on with your life, contact me right away, [ after all being anxious and a worrier what’s the worst that can happen 😉 ] call now.

nigel@nigelhetherington .co .uk

0770 481 8467

Enhanced by Zemanta

Hypnotherapy Depression Newcastle

Great Depression

Image by Koshyk via Flickr

An interesting article from the BBC website 7th April is suggesting that there is currently a fuelled rise in depression in England that is caused by money worries. Depression is on the rise and if you had shares in it or the related drug indistries you would be doing well. I will offer some information, as a professional hypnotherapist, on what sufferers can do now to help yourself.

Depression can be described as a very generalist way of worrying about or ‘coping’ with problems. There is a tendency to be thinking about the past and with this reliving the most painful memories, either emotional or physical. People exhibiting ‘depression’ may seem a little withdrawn from the outside work and feel they are powerless to make positive changes in their life.

One of the major researchers into the field of depression, Martin Seligman, has described depression as “Learned Pessimism.” Seligman is describing a way of thinking, which really means the way in which we have learned to experience the world. The way we think can make us have a bias to being either a pessimist or an optimist. A depressive has learned to behave in such a ways that is described as learned helplessness. What is extremely important here is it is very possible to learn to think in different ways.

Seeking professional help can be a very good option, if you get a change consultant who will stay outcome or solution orientated. It can also cause more problems and reinforce depression if the counsellor invites their client into discovering child hood issues, raking up the past and finding the cause of the depression.

The change process is far more likely to aid someone suffering from depression if the change consultant is geared towards and directed to specific solutions with an emphasis in the future. And facilitating different strategies or ways to think that will promote a learned optimism style of how to cope differently.

There are statically many more people depressed now than one hundred years ago. It can be a depressing thought that at any time over 25% of people in America would fit the description of depression. In many but not all cases I don’t believe medications and drugs are the answer. Why? Because they do not change thinking patterns and they do not help depressives adopt new strategies to become more able to adapt and thrive in life’s problematic situations.

Some good news is research shows that one year on from a diagnosis of a major depressive episode 20% of people will be better and still have some symptoms and 40% of people are fully recuperated with no signs of depression.

What you can do to help yourself:

  • Exercise. Go for a 15 minute run. Research shows that a 15 minute run can stop depression for 8 hours.
  • Laugh. Go to comedy shows, watch very funny videos, hang out with people who laugh lots.
  • Pay attention to specific things that are working in your life and celebrate them.
  • Each morning make a list of three things your are looking forward to this day.
  • Each evening make a list of three things you are looking forward to the following week.

For completely confidential and solution orientated help getting yourself out of depression and Getting on with your life, contact me

nigel@nigelhetherington .co .uk

0770 481 8467

Enhanced by Zemanta

Hypnotherapy For Guilt And Shame

Guilt and shame are two emotions that can cause suffering and stop you leading a full life. Both of these emotions are about not living up to values. These values can be your own or other peoples. Values are the kinds of experiences and behaviours that are important to both ourselves and to others.

If your behaviour or lack of it, in some way disrespects another persons values, you may well feel shame. Shame can also be imposed on you by another, such as by their public disapproval of your actions or even of you.

Guilt is about your response to how you are living up to and in accordance with your own values. How you behave or do not behave in relation to your own values can create the emotion we call guilt.

Both guilt and shame are emotions that are firmly located in the past. Guilt and shame are about past events and because there has been some perceived transgression of values, for some, those memories are replayed again and again and so can go on generate more guilt or shame.

Hypnotherapy and NLP can be very successfully used to stop most people feeling these negative emotions, for a specific event, in just one session. What is even more important to do after the feeling of guilt or shame is gone, is to re-evaluate the event and create strategies so that in any future situations that are similar, you will act much more in line with the values you want to honour.

For completely compassionate, confidential and non judgemental help dealing with Guilt and Shame and Getting on with your life

Contact Nigel Hetherington

nigel@nigelhetherington .co .uk

0770 481 8467