Category Archives: Coaching Jesmond

Hypnotherapy Newcastle – Anxiety & Stress Self Help

Stress & Anxiety Self Help What can You Do?

There are five aspects of helping yourself to better manage anxiety and stress. Hypnotherapy can usually assist you in this seemingly Augian task to change how you perceive your ability to cope, act and predict your future. There is of course a great deal you can do yourself. This is what follows: Take Action! Watch the following video. Then do something about your situation.

If you are interested in making some seriously positive changes, without a magic wand and some effort, then you should read on because this is the building material of generative change.

It is not quick fix because these usually don’t live in the real world and in your heart of hearts you know this. And you know this real change will require effort to transform yourself, irrespective of utilising hypnotherapy Newcastle to assist you in making serious change in your life. It will still take effort – if you want it…

There are five factors in the following video that pave the way to you having a better quality of life – when you adopt and incorporate these into you way of life – yes you will still have problems but they will be a better class of problems…

These changes will probably not come overnight in an instant flash of freedom – yet by being more aware of things you most likely already to, you are more able to cope with anxiety and stress. Non of these will change your situation, these factors have the power to help you change how you respond and cope!

Your psychological well-being and health have more to do with your outlook, coping mechanisms and dare I say it your beliefs than the actual environment, that is to say, the most influence you can have in a situation is down to you!

Reality Check and the next Miracle Diet – Save Your Money!

This doesn’t mean you are the absolute creator and maker of your own situations. The kind of well meaning yet misguided kind of writing with the promise of hollow hope that support this are pretty poor. Misdirections are the commons understanding of the ‘law of attraction’ or ‘The Secret’. the real secret is you will need to do something about your situation – this means effort!

You know as well as I do, we don’t control our environment or situations.

http://youtu.be/WKDwefVCLCs

We can have massive influence on how these are, but control? Come on! By being more emotionally resilient and flexible and having better adaptive responses we are more able to have a better class of problems and rise to the occasion better. We are much more able to shape our futures too.

Having watched the video, I hope you have gathered some real good ideas you will put into practice. The onus is with you.

For additional help with hypnotherapy to help you shape you perceptions and motivations coupled with some real action call Nigel on 0770 481 8467 for a free consultation to see if hypnotherapy in Newcastle is for you.

Newcastle Hypnotherapy : Fear of Public Speaking – Nigel Hetherington

Hypnotherapy Newcastle can be used to overcome public speaking fear with hypnotherapy so you can feel more confident and reorganise to change learned responses to public presentation. A fear of public presentation is a very common stress response and hypnosis is a particularly affective method to overcome a variety of stress responses.

Excess stress is known to cause heart damage and suppress the immune system. So having regular stress responses that are completely out of proportion to the actual situation are inappropriate and potentially harmful. Using hypnosis Newcastle you will be changing how you respond to perceived threat, stress situations as in public speaking or public presentation. The situation won’t change but your response will change so you can get on with presenting congruently.

For many people the fear of public speaking can cause the same kind of physiological response as a life or death situation. Public speaking or giving a presentation is a genuine bread and butter skill that today perhaps now more than ever is essential in bringing the kind of prosperity into you life that you want. Why is public speaking an essential skill?

It is because in practically all walks of life we as professional managers, directors, team leaders as being top class communicators in order to effect selling our ideas and meaningful values. And to do this we MUST be seen to be absolutely congruent.

In order to pitch and affectively communicate your ideas and beliefs to foster and create supporters in business you must be completely congruent. Congruent is the genuine felt sense of you walking your talk and knowing deeply the truth in the messages you are sending out.

Now imagine you do feel and connect deeply with your message BUT you begin to second guess your audience, you are talking to your self on the inside, reflecting on how you are being received whilst you are delivering your presentation, you begin to think the worst … your non-verbal communication leaks out those negative self thoughts and your presentation is not well received.

If you are preforming in a less than optimal and incongruent way OF COURSE your audience will detect this. And they will detect this on several levels of consciousness. Paul Ekman has a globally acknowledged body of research on what is called micro-signals or micro-expression leakage.

To summarise you need to be able to

  • Affectively communicate your values.
  • Influence others and sell your ideas.
  • Perform with confidence and fluency.

Lions Tigers & Bears – The Fear Public Speaking

a natural danger and stress response from an immediate life threatening situation such as an encounter with a lion, tiger or bear will activate your sympathetic nervous system in the following way.

Sensory information from our eyes and ears and possibly touch will be relayed to the information exchange centre of the human brain, the thalamus. This mixed mode of sensory information is then passed through the reticular formation, a small but complex nucleus in the brain stem and on to the amygdala, where fear emotions are heavily processed.  Following on from this the nerve impulses are shunted, very rapidly to the hypothalamus.

Hypothalamic – Pituitary – Adrenal Axis ( HPA )

The HPA can be understood as the stress response pathway. The hypothalamus is the gateway to our bodies homoeostasis system. This means the ways our bodies keep in balance within the system of life. In a life or death situation the hypothalamus mediates some bodily function. So in a potential life threatening situation the hypothalamus begins releasing CRH which in turn causes the anterior pituitary to release ACHT beginning a sympathetic nervous system response.

So all of this neuro transmitter and hormone release in the CNS and PNS now activate the endocrine system which activates the sympathetic nervous system and prepares the flight or fight response. The result of this is the adrenal endocrine release of catecholamines such as  epinephrine ( adrenaline ) and dopamine and the glucocorticoid cortisol. When the flight or fight response is activates we experience the following physiological shifts:

  • Suppression of the immune system.
  • Adrenal response.
  • Pupil dilation.
  • Vasoconstriction.
  • Increased hear rate.

So, clearly a stress response like that described above is completely out of proportion to the situation. The great majority of public presentations will no be life threatening at all. If you will like to change a mild or major stress response to public speaking get in touch to discover how hypnotherapy Newcastle can help you with public speaking.

 

Provocative Therapy and Coaching Workshop

I am hosting a workshop with my good friend Phil Jeremiah for coaches, hypnotherapists, therapists and change workers in Newcastle.

Humour can help to break old patterns and establish new ones

So many research papers and books tell us of the positive effects of laughter. Apparently 20 minutes of laughter is equivalent to 20 minutes of physical activity, likened to an inner form of jogging. It may well act as a buffer against day to day stressful perceptions. However, laughter is not easy to come by in our mixed up fear driven world. Consequently Thought Provoking Dialogue sets out to challenge our sometimes negative mind-sets and self-limiting beliefs.

Phil provides training, motivational speaking and support to organisations in the use of humour. Laughter in the workplace is proven to reduce symptoms of stress and can promote good team working in a fun way with groups or individuals. This two day workshop offers us the opportunity to experiment with, understand why and how, and develop confidence in using humour in coaching or therapy.

It’s a must for your development and an even greater must for right now – with our economic and social structures all in turmoil, we could all do with a little humour to help us frame it in ways that are useful to and for us and to and for our clients.

This weekend workshop takes place May 12-13 and is excellent value at £125 AND you are guaranteed outrageous laughter and learning as well as highly workable and client centred ways of engendering change. Book your place now!


Workshop Options



Northern Changeworkers, Counsellors, Coaches & Therapist Conference : May 14-15

I am seriously delighted and very excited to now be announcing the first Northern ChangeWorkers, Counsellors, Coaches and Therapists Conference ( NCCCTC ), here in Newcastle. A conference where we are continuing to highlight The North East as a centre for Excellence in Change Work and Therapy.

With our Magnificent Seven presenters, we can all draw from their experience and absorb their uniquely individual approach to successful change work.

Get their real MASSIVE value insights and their methods that the top North East Change Professionals, Coaches and Therapists use One to One with clients.

A genuine golden opportunity to learn from top North East change workers and to do some great networking and create new relationships. Book right away as there are limited places …

 

 

Conference topics will include:

  • General ways and methodologies for Brief Therapy.
  • Working with Eating Disorders.
  • Grief and Bereavement.
  • Solution Focused Brief Therapy.
  • Self Acceptance.
  • Dealing with Guilt.
  • True Co-Creative Coaching Alliances.

Enter your name & email now to receive a FREE audio CD interview with Harry Knox ( Brief Grief Therapy ) and Sharon Cox ( Eating Disorders ) discussing their backgrounds and providing insights into how they work in their specialised fields.

 

The NCCCT conference, over two days in May 14-15, is specifically for all of us people involved in professional change work as counsellors, therapists and coaches. And now by attending you will get:

  • Insights and practices of the top professionals.
  • The best value conference this year by far.
  • Specific methods for your client groups.
  • Incredible networking opportunities.

The ticket price for this two full day conference is only £40 and this IS incredible value for a two day conference. BUT

If you ACT NOW and are one of the first 100 people to book your place you get your ticket for ONLY £30. So, go ahead and BOOK YOUR PLACE now!

 

 

As well as all attendants receiving a series of interviews with the presenters which will give you a general overview of the presenters unique way of working all conference participants will be able to discover the ways and methodologies in which to work with your clients with Eating Disorders, Grief and Bereavement, Solution Focused Therapy, Self Acceptance, Guilt, True Co-Creative Coaching Alliances and a great deal more.

NCCCTC is taking place in May 14-15 in Newcastle upon Tyne 2011. Be Sure You Attend!

Introducing our presenters for 2011, each with many years of both one to one experience as well as excellent group facilitation skills:

Harry KnoxBereavement and Brief Grief Therapy
With an unparalleled career of over 30 years working in psychiatry in the NHS. Harry now splits his time between supervision, one to one therapy and training facilitation. As a Master practitioner and accredited trainer of NLP, Harry has a unique, humorous and entirely engaging style to change work and is the creator of ‘Brief Grief Therapy’.

Sharon CoxEating Disorder Specialist
Sharon is a BACP accredited counsellor, with a private practice based in North Tyneside, offering both short and long-term counselling for a wide range of psychological and emotional concerns. She provides counselling supervision to both training and qualified counsellors and has extensive experience in Substance Misuse, Bereavement Care and Victim Support. Sharon’s special interest is in eating disorders. Combining a busy practice and training facilitation she is also studying to gain a PhD in Counselling Studies.

John Wheeler – Solution Focused Brief Therapy
Well published and equally well known in the field of Brief Therapy, John has over 18 years experience in facilitation, clinical supervision and one to one work both internationally and here in the UK. John is also responsible for the excellent BTNE organisation.

Rob McGinleyAnxiety And Depression
Rob S. McGinley is a qualified, experienced and effective counsellor. His extensive background includes bereavement & loss, work stress, relationship & family issues, depression & anxiety and youth counselling. BACP registered, Rob works as a counsellor/ NLP practitioner , has his own small private practice and lectures full time on the counselling foundation degree training program at TyneMet College.

Andy HuntCompassionate Self Acceptance
Andy works with people who give themselves a hard time, judge themselves harshly, feel bad about themselves or spend far too much time having a problem with themselves. Andy’s clients may typically feel irresistibly drawn to choose situations and relationships that reinforce their bad opinion of themselves, Andy helps them to experience and make positive changes. A NLP Master Practitioner, accredited EFT and NLP trainer, Andy is well know for his ability to run change processes while creating a deep and respectful rapport.

Paula McCormack – UK Social Leaders Coach
With over 20 years experience as both an individual and group development facilitator Paula has developed her own unique approach to change and development know as The Adaptive. Paula is dynamic and has an incredible ability to deeply connect and create the space that fosters true discoveries and engenders personal change.

Nigel Hetherington – Addictions & Trauma
Nigel is the NCCCTS organiser. He works as an approved NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy training facilitator, has a private practice and is particularly interested in helping people recover and move forward in life from serious addictions, trauma and abusive relationships. Nigel facilitates regular NLP, Hypnotherapy and Therapist workshops and practice groups in the North East and Newcastle.

This conference is seriously affordable to everyone; Why? Because all of our presenters are dedicated to the real direction and goal of excellence in therapy for all attendees. We are all involved in developing further our skills and ways of practice in mutually beneficial and co-created change alliances.

Your personal investment for this value packed and quality information conference is ONLY £30 for the first 100 registrants. After this the price increases to £40, which is still excellent value. After 5th May the price increases to £50.

 

 

But think about this; £50 for a two day conference with the top therapists, change workers and coaches is still incredible value because you will get to understand the unique ways and methods of the presenters that they use which makes them the very top of their profession and they will be sharing their methods and ways of getting excellent results with their clients.

Addiction Therapy Newcastle

15.Carl Jung

Image via Wikipedia

“I can resist anything but temptation” – Oscar Wilde

It is said that one of Carl Jung’s patients, a hopeless alcoholic went to Jung for treatment. After one session all was going well and the addict recoverer for some few days. After yet another relapse the addict returned to Jung and said “I have relapsed and I need you to fix me“.

Jung’s response was excellent. “I can’t help you, you are the most sever alcoholic I have ever met and I can’t help you.

Gob smacked the alcoholic asked “Then what can I do? Is all hope lost?

Here is something you can try, it may save you or it may not. I can’t help you. The only thing that might help you is …” Jung paused, for effect …

This is called an olive branch. It requires both hope and action

… Is this. Go to all the Churches and Spiritual meetings you can until you find something that is bigger than you and that you honestly can relate to. I don’t know if you will ever find this, yet you can try.

The first steps of becoming free of an addiction is often to first realise then admit the problem of addiction. If it is not a problem then it is not a problem.

If it is a problem then … It Is a Problem.

It is very curious to know that many of the so called addictions are actually a coping mechanism for dealing with pain and the often relentless struggles in life. Perhaps a return to the simplicity of the womb and carefree state of bliss.

Addictions be they food related ( comfort eating ), drugs, sex, co-dependency or alcohol  are all related with a common them. What is this common theme? It is some perceived lack of something in life. And the ‘addiction’ is a mechanism ( that may well be past the sell by date ) that is functioning to fill what is missing in your life by numbing your pain or just as easily maintaining some kind of status quo.

It is often very difficult for the so called addict to admit to them self they have a problem, even more difficult to realise that in order to regain their life they need to do one of two things.

One. Seek professional help and or

Two. Seek something much more encompassing, bigger than them self to become free of that old addiction.

I offer a comprehensive and respectful professional service that can help you both free your self from serious addictions and equally fill your life with something far more satisfying and meaningful.

Please get in touch with me for professional assistance when, and only when, you are truly ready to break free of the prison of addictions and start to live a much more meaningful and satisfying life.

So, I bet you are wondering what happened to the ‘hopeless alcoholic’. Well acting on Jung’s invitation, he found something bigger than himself. He gave up alcohol and was closely involved, a personal acquaintance of one of the founders of the world famous AA – Alcoholics Anonymous.

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Spirituality In Coaching and Therapy – Nigel Hetherington & Paula McCormack

The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.

Norman Vincent Peale

Spirituality In Coaching and Therapy – Newcastle NLP and Hypnosis Cafe Monday 7th February 7-9pm : Gosforth Library Newcastle NE3 3HD : £10 Including Biscuits. Book online below.

When we come direct from heart space we create an energetic connection that surpasses the concept of empathy or our multi-sensory capacity. In doing so we create the neutral void that two souls can share to explore, discover, test, challenge and shift. For us, this is our recipe for lasting and generative change.

So in this café Paula and Nigel will facilitate your unpacking of the deeper and more connecting ways in which yours and our therapeutic alliances work. How they are formed, how they grow and the effect and impact they have on our and the world.

We will open and share our thoughts and processes of how to develop co-created alliances by exploring the concepts of projections and reflections prior to, during and after a dynamic interaction. We will also consider projection and reflection in terms of attracting clients into your life for mutual healing and purposeful learnings.

Every person we meet has something to teach us, and every person has something to say that only they can say. We both believe we attract the clients that will help and be beneficial to our ongoing development. This may also include ‘healing’ your past. viz a vie we meet together to co-create something that is more than mutually beneficial …

From this place we’ll look at working from heart space that dynamically co-creates a change process as being fundamental in effective change and evolution work. We will show you how this offers a place that goes way beyond our understanding of rapport. Indeed it transcends the thoughts that if we shared some common value, belief, outcomes, goals and even purpose we can go anywhere in the relationship.

Newcastle NLP and Hypnosis Cafe

Monday 7th February 7-9pm :

Gosforth Library Newcastle NE3 3HD : £10 Including Biscuits.

Book online now.





Can You Make A Living From Coaching or Therapy?

I run regular trainings in Newcastle for people to become certified Clinical Hypnotherapists and NLP Practitioners. Two days ago I received a call from a perspective participant regarding Hypnotherapy Training. One of their really good questions was “Can I make a living as a Hypnotherapist”.

The answer is a very BIG no and yes!

There are many, many training courses where you can become a qualified therapist, coach or hypnotherapist. Currently there is no legislation in the UK to stop anyone stating they are a ‘hypnotherapist’ or ‘coach’ any reader can do it right now. Some will get a ‘qualification’ yet if you want to make a good living as a professional people helper YOU NEED CLIENTS, no matter how good you think you are or the training you have received.

I strongly recommend Andy Austin’s Brass Bollocks [ if you will follow the process ] and then be prepared to commit to the time it takes to generate lots of clients AND build a reputation and successful practice!

Andy is someone I have done a great deal of training with, who I regard as a truly consummate professional, Andy Austin has stated …

A little humility will save you a lot of humiliation“.

There are so many products out in the market promising you can make £x,xxx,xxx in a year. This is a big sham! One of the biggest deceptions going in my opinion. There are no get rich quick schemes and if this is what you want you may well be in the wrong profession! Yet, the strategies are generally good BUT it takes time to build a good reputation, referrals and a professional practice.

My personal experience, never bothering to follow any of these get rich schemes was it took me five years to build a profitable practice in therapy. I am an ex-software engineer and have some savi regarding how to build an internet presence that works for you.

I was teaching hypnosis and NLP by 2005 and it is now 2011. This is five years in time and five years in reputations and referrals. Unless you have a massive number of contacts do not expect to make a living as soon as you are qualified. I think this applies to any professional practice, therapy or other …

One of the most important pieces of experience I can offer is you can do it. It usually wont happen over night. It takes practice, time and a real commitment to helping people transform their lives – as well as your own! If you are currently working I suggest you create what I call a ‘parachute fund’ to help you on your way, to transition between a job and a true calling. Don’t do what I did and sell your house to create you business, it is way too risky!

So, I sold my home and quite my job as a full time software developer and programmer to pursue my dream. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone because it was very hard and was a one way ticket to survive and  flourish or go bust. I followed my dream …

Anything and everything to do what I love, my family and friends said I was mad to give up a lucrative job … YET … my heart was elsewhere in the future … and eventually … this came true … It was not easy! It is really hard work!!

Follow your heart … … … and at the same time, realise you do need to make a living in the process ….

Some hints and tips on what not to to … Basically don’t lie about yourself.

In therapeutic practice, there are so many people advertising skills they simply haven’t got.  For instance …

Do not advertise what you are not or make somewhat ridiculous claims on what you can do for clients. This includes ridiculous fees that simply do not attract clients.  The [ ] are examples of what I personally know has failed for certain people who try to present themselves as therapists or coaches.

  • £125 coaching by skype [ 4 clients in 18 months, two non paying ]
  • Child behaviour Specialist . [ Physically abusing their children by smacking then in the face and mouth ]
  • Saying you have 100% client success [ everyone knows this is not so ]
  • Divorced mother specialisation [ still married and ongoing incredibly troublesome divorce ]
  • Relationship expert [ 20 years of infidelity and non resolved personal issues ]
  • Get your magic job [ no income from therapy, dependent on the state for financial support ]
  • You can make a living doing what you love [ no income except state / partner dependent ]

Make you fees plainly accessible to one and all

The most well known and successful UK therapists are from £125 – per hour or session. These are the people who have 10 to 15 years plus of experience and practice to charge this. Get real. You will not compete with these people right away. These are well developed and recognised professionals. Better to charge £45 per hour and get some clients while building a real reputation.

The real trick here is to build up a practice

  • Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to up your prices especially when they have no clients of their own.
  • Get your Internet Site presence up and for the world to see.
  • Make presentations to your local therapy and counselling associations.
  • Do free work until you have people that will recommend you.
  • Be true to what you believe is right and set out to make a difference.
  • Patience and the rest will come with dedication.

Follow your dreams while you study and practice hard!

Love & Light

Nigel

Newcastle Weight Loss Hypnosis | Jesmond Weigh Loss Hypnosis

We are all so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value we forget that the inner value the rapture that is associated with being alive is what it’s all about‘ – Joseph Campbell

There is something else, much more to losing weigh and weight loss … and this is a fundamental change of attitude and heart … and … getting a real sense, a knowing if you like, of what you will actually feel and experience from losing weight!

Click here to book an appointment for Weight Loss Hypnosis Newcastle in early New Year of 2011.

Public Speaking Hypnotherapy Newcastle

You probably know that the vast majority of people shrink back from the very idea of public speaking.

The fear of public speaking including not being heard, clamming up and potentially making a complete and utter fool of yourself plagues so very many people you would not believe … or actually maybe you DO!!! I know at one time I certainly did!

The more practice you get the more comfortable you can become with public speaking. My own experience of this was, initially it terrified me! Honestly it did. And at some point I realised and grasped what I can say has massive meaning and value to me as well as others.

We all have thoughts, feelings and insight we want to share with the people we really want to connect with. Remember … Your purpose in public or group or peer speaking is to share how and what you feel, think and know for a purpose that is bigger than you that will benefit all.

The Common Problems

There are three very common and often interlinked problems for people facing public speaking and they are this :

  1. You have ( in the past ) had one or more experiences of doing this and it going horribly wrong.
  2. You have worried and worried and worried and … Dun It And … What happened … It went HORRIBLY.
  3. You have worried and worried and worried and … Thought The Worst And … You haven’t even done it yet!

So what is your solution?

Clearing up any problems from the past and literally putting that out of your mind. The past is the past, yet it can come back to haunt you … unless you deal with it.

Starting to cultivate the attitude of what you actually want to have happen. Not what you don’t! The attitude of a truly positive outcome where you are fully able to speak your truth from your heart is empowering. You feeling congruent and confident in and with what you say will show.

Knowing your true purposes and motivations will help you set a direction and focus your intention to talk from your heart and also be heard.

How You Can Speak Your Truth From Your Heart

I can help you remove blocks from the past, set your focus on what you want and make you purpose clear … So you can … speak publicly with a real conviction and congruence.

Click Here to book an appointment to Learn To Speak Your Truth With Passion and Purpose

Newcastle Trauma PTSD Resolution Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

The majority of traumatic memories or post traumatic stress intrusions can usually be successfully cleared in one to two session.

Here is a demonstration from Hypnotherapist Nigel Hetherington using NLP EMI – Eye Movement Integration to remove the associated emotional residue from a traumatic experience.

NLP Eye Movement Integration is the creation of Steve and Connirae Andreas.

Weigh Loss Hypnotherapy Newcastle Jesmond Gosforth Hexham

Struggling to become a desirable and healthy weight is one of the most common and often ever present problems people today are facing. Weight issues are not usually genetic, probably not your diet and not destiny. You can change and this means cleaning up your past and changing your attitudes and habits to support more than just losing weight.

There are very many reasons or causes for this problem. Knowing the reasons as to why you are overweight and potentially emotionally depressed with the situation usually wont help you lose weight and keep it off. Changing who you were and becoming the person you want to be will. There is very likely some connection with your past, an emotional issue or maybe a habit and attitude you need to change.

Do you know many over weight people suffer from

  • Low Self Esteem
  • Negative Thoughts
  • Lack Of Confidence
  • Diet – Comfort Eat – Diet – Comfort Eat Cycles
  • A Longing To Discover Real Love

If you have tried every diet or self help book you can and are still getting nowhere fast and you are still fat then read on :

There are three things you honestly need to know about and do to make the changes you truly want in your life happen.

Firstly knowing how the benefits of changing your weight will effect you is extremely important. In short there needs to be a real purpose in your losing weight. It is not about losing weight in and of itself. It is what you will get from losing weight. This may be feeling much more confident, feeling more attractive, increased health benefits and leading a more active life in all areas.

Secondly you need to understand there is some underlying emotional pain that is creating and sustaining your current problem. Remember the brain seeks things to make us feel better. Comfort eating can and does alleviate emotional pain BUT it is only temporary. You eat, feel a little better, feel guilty about binging as well as the unresolved emotional pain and then the cycle starts again like ever increasing circles!

Finally you have to do something about it and then get on with living the way you want to live. This involves getting professional help to help you make changes in your attitude and coach you through the change period to a much better life.

The Brain Stuff

The brains main function is to keep the body in which it resides alive and functioning and to find food, reproduce and other vital requirements. It does this by a complex neuro-chemical endogenous reward mechanism. Simply put, finding food, sex and the other essential needs creates a neuro-chemical reward and makes us feel very good. If you continue looking outside yourself for this you always will …

This system of reward is driven sequentially like this:

Stimulus -> Desire -> Action -> Reward

Let’s call this the SDAR cycle.

Stimulus to find food, sex, or other essential need like security. This can come from your environment, like seeing some favourite food, your partner or even looking for a more comfortable or secure living environment. Stimulus can also come from the inside as in when we think about our emotional state, think about problems or think about a missing loved one.

Desire is thinking about what you want and also what is painful in life. When the pain or emotional turbulence becomes too strong you seek to find a way out. One way is finding something to alleviate the pain, this is temporary and may be eating a cake, chocolate or any activity that temporarily shunts negative thoughts, pain or emotional issues off to one side. But they are still there!!

Action in this case, is putting the next best alternative into action. Usually a stop gap measure. This is doing what you have always done and hoping for a different result. It wont happen, sorry. You need to change what you do. And this means a fundamental change in your attitude towards yourself!

Reward is the feeling you get when you do something to alleviate your emotional pain. Your brain releases some good chemicals and you feel good for a short while but it doesn’t last and then the cycle starts again.

  • What if you can stop this cycle?
  • What if you can honestly heal the emotional pain that is at the heart of your situation?
  • What if you really can make and sustain positive changes that will give you the life and feelings you really what to have?

Comfort eating, drinking or any other activity that temporarily assuages the underlying emotional hurt or pain you are feeling and is a substitute for addressing your real needs and desires. You can honestly never get enough of second best! So now is your open window to let some fresh air of change into you life.

And here is your invitation to take action …

Book an appointment, get your life on track and become who are … sooner … than you may have thought possible.

Book an appointment to turn your life around now.

Tel : 0770 481 8467

email : nigel@nigelhetherington.co.uk

Buddhism, Enlightenment and Learning How To Feel Better – Part Three

thailand buddha handImage by FriskoDude via Flickr

Carrying on from the previous post about NLP and the connections to Buddhism or more precisely one of many ways towards what is tentatively called enlightenment or as I prefer to say living in and having as authentic a life as possible and being comfortable in your own skin …

So, having read the last post and having acknowledged the positive purpose of the unwanted emotion, we can then use one of many NLP therapeutic processes to help heal the regrets of the past.

One of the simplest methods of doing this is to change, what is know as the sub-modalities of the ‘memory’. Our memories are re-experienced through our five senses and the sub modalities are the smaller components of each of our five senses.

Here is one way for you to heal your own regret. Work on one specific ‘regret memory’ at a time and follow the process all the way through.

  1. Remember a situation or memory that at one time you did regret but now, when you think about it you realize and acknowledge the learning and the value of that learning such that having had that experience has in fact made you a much better, more rounded person with far greater resources and skills. Let’s call this the ‘reference memory’.
  2. Still thinking about the memory you, at one time regretted, but now see this as a resource; answer the following questions, making a list of your answers.
    • Where is the memory located? Point to it! Is it up to your left, down to your right, is it central in front of you, is it behind you to the right? You need to find the spatial location. Find out where abouts in your own personal space the memory seems to be.
    • Is the memory colour or black and white?
    • Is the memory like a picture, series of pictures or a DVD movie?
    • Is the memory life size, smaller or bigger?
    • Do you see yourself in the memory or is it like you are looking out of your own eyes?
    • What sounds accompany the memory and what is their location? There may be many or none!
    • What smells are you aware of that accompany this memory?
    • Is the memory sharp and clear or fuzzy and blurred?
  3. Write all your answers down and then go and make a cup of tea and come back in a few minutes.
  4. Now think about the specific situation, memory or incident you do still regret and answer the following questions, make a list of:
    • Where is the memory located? Point to it! Is it up to your left, down to your right, is it central in front of you, is it behind you to the right? You need to find the spatial location. Find out where abouts in your own personal space the memory seems to be.
    • Is the memory color or black and white?
    • Is the memory like a picture, series of pictures or a DVD movie?
    • Is the memory life size, smaller or bigger?
    • Do you see yourself in the memory or is it like you are looking out of your own eyes?
    • What sounds accompany the memory and what is their location? There may be many or none!
    • What smells are you aware of that accompany this memory?
    • Is the memory sharp and clear or fuzzy and blurred?
  5. You now have two lists of the sub modalities of each memory. Here is how to run your own brain. Look for the differences between the two experiences, for example are the two memories in different locations? Is one color and one black and white? You get the idea right! Differences here are the important factors!
  6. Start to make the sub modalities ( one at a time ) of the ‘regret’ memory the same as the ‘reference memory’ you used to regret and notice how your emotional response changes. It is your brain you can make any changes you want to make. Changes can be changed back or kept depending on how you feel.

Now maybe Buddha did not use this specific NLP process ( there are rather a lot to select from ) as he took many days to achieve his enlightenment and this can change how you feel much more rapidly. In a matter of minutes, you can have really practised this skill more fully. But perhaps Buddha had, like the rest of us, a great many regrets so he worked through them all, systematically, one at a time. NLP like Buddhism is about continued practice so please accept the invite to change, one at a time, the things you regret.

NLP is about learning how to run your own brain to get the kind of results you want in a systematic way.

Clean Language Clean Therapy ™ Solutions | Newcastle Hypnotherapy | Newcastle Hypnosis

Newcastle Hypnotherapist Nigel Hetherington demonstrates Clean Language leading into the Clean Therapy ™ model to assist in exploration and a solution orientation with one of the participants.

I have recently been working in Alaska delivering Clinical Hypnotherapy training. Here is the first of two parts of a demonstration of Clean Language and my Clean Therapy ™ Model.

One of the things that make the Clean Therapy ™ approach so powerful is clients never have to talk directly about their problems, which can often cause them even more distress. Using metaphor and physical movement the Clean Therapist directs the process of change at a different level of internal experience that the origional problem. That is, a metaphoric representation is created and then explored. As the metaphor is explored and changed the problem representation will naturally have been explored and changed too.

For Hypnosis in Newcastle and Hypnosis in Hexham contact call 0770 481 8467 or email nigel@nigelhetherington.co.uk

NLP Practitioner Training @ £495 | Newcastle & North East NLP Practitioner Course

white roseImage via dosbears

When we want to make our life better and are frustrated that it is not happening the way we want it to be or not happening at all, there are some things we can do to take action and get better informed and equipped to make the changes we want happen.

This excellent value training begins in January 2011 and concludes in June. The Newcastle NLP Practitioner training course is three days Friday-Sunday each month.

We all experience and face common frustrations and problems just about each and every day.

Here are just some of them:

  • Wasting Time and Energy Worrying about the NOW…
  • Wasting Time and Energy Worrying about the future ( Anxiety )
  • Economy and Money
  • Your Job Security
  • Your Relationships both Personal and Professional
  • You are not happy or satisfied with you present situation
  • A lack motivation
  • Wanting to turn your life around
  • Worried about paying your bills
  • Unable to get on better with others and yourself

Neurolinguistic Programming or NLP is a kind of pseudo psychology developed in the 1970’s. It has grew to massive fame in the UK largely because of Paul Mckenna’s TV shows. NLP is a successful and powerful way of running your own brain, increasing your confidence, managing your state as well as learning and developing ethical influencing and communication tools. It is also a great deal of fun in the learning!

Excellent content, great presentation, great group. All if it linked together, I have really enjoyed it and learned a lot from the course, very useful.

Kim – Manager Outdoor Activity Centre

Taking an NLP Practitioner training will of course not solve each and every one of your problems yet it will give you tools you can use to take much more control of your life and generally feel much better about it. You will change the way you think and interact with others. You will learn how to get on much better with people and literally talk their language.

Totally fab, exceeded my expectations. Thank you very much! The trainers are great and the venue is ideal. For me, its the power and awareness of language are the most useful.

Rob – Counselling Lecturer

This special credit crunch price for the NLP Practitioner Course with six months training is just £495. This really is the most exceptional value certified NLP Practitioner in the UK. It is this price because the current economic climate which demands you get paramount value for your money and because Communicating Excellence is dedicated to increasing the success of all people in our North East community.

I have seen changes in myself that I wouldn’t have thought possible. Thank you so much

Felicity James

18 Participants Max.

Three days per month, Friday-Sunday beginning January 2011. Only £495 Take Action and Book NOW!

Click here for full details and to book your place on the Newcastle NLP Practitioner Training course.

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Drinking Water Before Meal Helps Dieting

A whirlpool in a glass of water

Image via Wikipedia

A recent BBC article claims that drinking two cups of water before a meal will help you with your dieting. The research comes from scientists in Virginia working with 48 adults aged 55 to 75.

Drinking two cups of water, three times a day before meals can help you lose an average of 5 pounds ( That is the same as 2.27 kg ).

Read the full article here on the BBC web site.

If you would like some additional hints and tips to help you lose weight, check out my Weigh Loss Attitude a six page pamphlet in the Free Resources section.

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Even The Top Coaches Have Bad Days

The best thing one can do when it's raining is...
Image by Krikit ♥ via Flickr

All people have off days. Life will continue to throw up circumstances, situations and episodes when we are challenged, hurt, pissed off and injured by our own and other peoples actions or inactions. This is part of being human and the personal evolutions we all experience during our life time.

Alexander Pope said “To err is human; to forgive is divine

Forgive yourself ( and others ) for any pain you feel. Use the pain to transform and motivate yourself to have much more of the life you want. This is not really about material things as I know many people who have excess money, even one who is a millionaire and they aren’t happy.

This is about connecting and discovering your unique life purpose or your true calling and acting from this base. Of course having too little money does cause problems no matter what some life coaches or spiritual gurus say. We all require a certain level of income to meet our basic need. Yet once these needs are met how do you choose to live?

One of comparative mythologists Joseph Campbell’s most famous quotes is “follow your bliss“. The real key to a more than fulfilling life is to discover your bliss and walk that path. Campbell certainly followed his bliss and as a result transformed the thinking and lives of millions of people. And of course you don’t even need to think about the ideas and concepts of following your bliss or discovering your life purpose. It is not for every one yet discovering your bliss requires no special education or prior knowledge. He calls this journey or exploration The Hero’s Journey’ Campbell says this is The Left hand Path and it is not for everyone. Just for those who hear the call to adventure …

So it’s OK to feel hurt, pained and angry. This could be the start of a life transforming journey. Where the real skill comes in is using these powerful and driving emotions to create something better for ourselves and others. This could be the beginning of your own Hero’s Journey. Here is a little clip from one of the Worlds most dynamic coaches Tony Robbins.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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