Hypnotherapy Newcastle – Hypnotherapy Jesmond – Hypnotherapy Gosforth – Hypnotherapy Northumberland and Hexham : Hypnosis Newcastle Jesmond Gosforth and Hexham. All private sessions are two hours and cost £123 : Tel 0770 481 8467 or 'click' BOOKING A THERAPY SESSION
I am hosting a workshop with my good friend Phil Jeremiah for coaches, hypnotherapists, therapists and change workers in Newcastle.
“Humour can help to break old patterns and establish new ones”
So many research papers and books tell us of the positive effects of laughter. Apparently 20 minutes of laughter is equivalent to 20 minutes of physical activity, likened to an inner form of jogging. It may well act as a buffer against day to day stressful perceptions. However, laughter is not easy to come by in our mixed up fear driven world. Consequently Thought Provoking Dialogue sets out to challenge our sometimes negative mind-sets and self-limiting beliefs.
Phil provides training, motivational speaking and support to organisations in the use of humour. Laughter in the workplace is proven to reduce symptoms of stress and can promote good team working in a fun way with groups or individuals. This two day workshop offers us the opportunity to experiment with, understand why and how, and develop confidence in using humour in coaching or therapy.
It’s a must for your development and an even greater must for right now – with our economic and social structures all in turmoil, we could all do with a little humour to help us frame it in ways that are useful to and for us and to and for our clients.
This weekend workshop takes place May 12-13 and is excellent value at £125 AND you are guaranteed outrageous laughter and learning as well as highly workable and client centred ways of engendering change. Book your place now!
I am seriously delighted and very excited to now be announcing the first Northern ChangeWorkers, Counsellors, Coaches and Therapists Conference ( NCCCTC ), here in Newcastle. A conference where we are continuing to highlight The North East as a centre for Excellence in Change Work and Therapy.
With our Magnificent Seven presenters, we can all draw from their experience and absorb their uniquely individual approach to successful change work.
Get their real MASSIVE value insights and their methods that the top North East Change Professionals, Coaches and Therapists use One to One with clients.
A genuine golden opportunity to learn from top North East change workers and to do some great networking and create new relationships. Book right away as there are limited places …
Enter your name & email now to receive a FREE audio CD interview with Harry Knox ( Brief Grief Therapy ) and Sharon Cox ( Eating Disorders ) discussing their backgrounds and providing insights into how they work in their specialised fields.
The NCCCT conference, over two days in May 14-15, is specifically for all of us people involved in professional change work as counsellors, therapists and coaches. And now by attending you will get:
Insights and practices of the top professionals.
The best value conference this year by far.
Specific methods for your client groups.
Incredible networking opportunities.
The ticket price for this two full day conference is only £40 and this IS incredible value for a two day conference. BUT
If you ACT NOW and are one of the first 100 people to book your place you get your ticket for ONLY £30. So, go ahead and BOOK YOUR PLACE now!
As well as all attendants receiving a series of interviews with the presenters which will give you a general overview of the presenters unique way of working all conference participants will be able to discover the ways and methodologies in which to work with your clients with Eating Disorders, Grief and Bereavement, Solution Focused Therapy, Self Acceptance, Guilt, True Co-Creative Coaching Alliances and a great deal more.
NCCCTC is taking place in May 14-15 in Newcastle upon Tyne 2011. Be Sure You Attend!
Introducing our presenters for 2011, each with many years of both one to one experience as well as excellent group facilitation skills:
Harry Knox – Bereavement and Brief Grief Therapy
With an unparalleled career of over 30 years working in psychiatry in the NHS. Harry now splits his time between supervision, one to one therapy and training facilitation. As a Master practitioner and accredited trainer of NLP, Harry has a unique, humorous and entirely engaging style to change work and is the creator of ‘Brief Grief Therapy’.
Sharon Cox – Eating Disorder Specialist
Sharon is a BACP accredited counsellor, with a private practice based in North Tyneside, offering both short and long-term counselling for a wide range of psychological and emotional concerns. She provides counselling supervision to both training and qualified counsellors and has extensive experience in Substance Misuse, Bereavement Care and Victim Support. Sharon’s special interest is in eating disorders. Combining a busy practice and training facilitation she is also studying to gain a PhD in Counselling Studies.
John Wheeler – Solution Focused Brief Therapy
Well published and equally well known in the field of Brief Therapy, John has over 18 years experience in facilitation, clinical supervision and one to one work both internationally and here in the UK. John is also responsible for the excellent BTNE organisation.
Rob McGinley – Anxiety And Depression
Rob S. McGinley is a qualified, experienced and effective counsellor. His extensive background includes bereavement & loss, work stress, relationship & family issues, depression & anxiety and youth counselling. BACP registered, Rob works as a counsellor/ NLP practitioner , has his own small private practice and lectures full time on the counselling foundation degree training program at TyneMet College.
Andy Hunt – Compassionate Self Acceptance
Andy works with people who give themselves a hard time, judge themselves harshly, feel bad about themselves or spend far too much time having a problem with themselves. Andy’s clients may typically feel irresistibly drawn to choose situations and relationships that reinforce their bad opinion of themselves, Andy helps them to experience and make positive changes. A NLP Master Practitioner, accredited EFT and NLP trainer, Andy is well know for his ability to run change processes while creating a deep and respectful rapport.
Paula McCormack – UK Social Leaders Coach
With over 20 years experience as both an individual and group development facilitator Paula has developed her own unique approach to change and development know as The Adaptive. Paula is dynamic and has an incredible ability to deeply connect and create the space that fosters true discoveries and engenders personal change.
Nigel Hetherington – Addictions & Trauma
Nigel is the NCCCTS organiser. He works as an approved NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapy training facilitator, has a private practice and is particularly interested in helping people recover and move forward in life from serious addictions, trauma and abusive relationships. Nigel facilitates regular NLP, Hypnotherapy and Therapist workshops and practice groups in the North East and Newcastle.
This conference is seriously affordable to everyone; Why? Because all of our presenters are dedicated to the real direction and goal of excellence in therapy for all attendees. We are all involved in developing further our skills and ways of practice in mutually beneficial and co-created change alliances.
Your personal investment for this value packed and quality information conference is ONLY £30 for the first 100 registrants. After this the price increases to £40, which is still excellent value. After 5th May the price increases to £50.
But think about this; £50 for a two day conference with the top therapists, change workers and coaches is still incredible value because you will get to understand the unique ways and methods of the presenters that they use which makes them the very top of their profession and they will be sharing their methods and ways of getting excellent results with their clients.
“I can resist anything but temptation” – Oscar Wilde
It is said that one of Carl Jung’s patients, a hopeless alcoholic went to Jung for treatment. After one session all was going well and the addict recoverer for some few days. After yet another relapse the addict returned to Jung and said “I have relapsed and I need you to fix me“.
Jung’s response was excellent. “I can’t help you, you are the most sever alcoholic I have ever met and I can’t help you.”
Gob smacked the alcoholic asked “Then what can I do? Is all hope lost?”
“Here is something you can try, it may save you or it may not. I can’t help you. The only thing that might help you is …” Jung paused, for effect …
This is called an olive branch. It requires both hope and action…
“… Is this. Go to all the Churches and Spiritual meetings you can until you find something that is bigger than you and that you honestly can relate to. I don’t know if you will ever find this, yet you can try.”
The first steps of becoming free of an addiction is often to first realise then admit the problem of addiction. If it is not a problem then it is not a problem.
If it is a problem then … It Is a Problem.
It is very curious to know that many of the so called addictions are actually a coping mechanism for dealing with pain and the often relentless struggles in life. Perhaps a return to the simplicity of the womb and carefree state of bliss.
Addictions be they food related ( comfort eating ), drugs, sex, co-dependency or alcohol are all related with a common them. What is this common theme? It is some perceived lack of something in life. And the ‘addiction’ is a mechanism ( that may well be past the sell by date ) that is functioning to fill what is missing in your life by numbing your pain or just as easily maintaining some kind of status quo.
It is often very difficult for the so called addict to admit to them self they have a problem, even more difficult to realise that in order to regain their life they need to do one of two things.
One. Seek professional help and or
Two. Seek something much more encompassing, bigger than them self to become free of that old addiction.
I offer a comprehensive and respectful professional service that can help you both free your self from serious addictions and equally fill your life with something far more satisfying and meaningful.
Please get in touch with me for professional assistance when, and only when, you are truly ready to break free of the prison of addictions and start to live a much more meaningful and satisfying life.
So, I bet you are wondering what happened to the ‘hopeless alcoholic’. Well acting on Jung’s invitation, he found something bigger than himself. He gave up alcohol and was closely involved, a personal acquaintance of one of the founders of the world famous AA – Alcoholics Anonymous.
I honestly think people meet for a reason. My thoughts here are, it is to learn and create together or learn and create apart. Our relationships with our intimate lovers, friends and acquaintances can in some ways be defined by what we both learn and go on to accomplish, share and go on to help others through our own experiences.
If you have ever been in an unnecessarily argumentative, emotional, mentally or even physically abusive relationship that can be categorised with frequent breakups and passionate get back together’s then this may be of help and interest to you in both getting some kind of understanding of what’s happening and finding ways to live healthily together or move apart sooner.
It is my intention that these articles will provide examples you may relate to and to provide means to make the right changes for you in terms of your relationship.
If you choose to get out of this kind of toxic relationship the rest of this articles will offer some suggestions as to how as a survivor you can let go of the past, feel better and move forward with a sense of forgiveness and compassion. My reparation took me over six weeks to fully heal my heart and head, to let go of many unhelpful emotions and memories and feel whole again.
I most often find labelling people is not helpful. What I want to show here is a collection of coping mechanisms people with so called Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD ) have for coping in their world and specifically coping in an intimate personal relationship.
It is honestly NOT their fault they have these modes of behaviour or coping mechanisms to be interacting with intimate partners but unless you are their therapist or their partner you will most likely never see this side of their personality. It can be like a real life Jekyll and Hyde. Relationships with this kind of characteristic can look like the Somme Battlefield from the outside. From the inside it is honestly much, much worse for both people.
Please read the following article for an insight into a BPD relationship. Click on the hyperlink below.
The article above describes very well my perceptions of my own experience in a relationship with an ex partner who displayed all of the coping mechanisms that I will describe below. As such I have no intention of relating specific personal examples. This is for two reasons. Sometimes I feel ‘our story’ has an element of ‘the victim’ attached to it and so creates unhelpful gossip and agony aunt style, problem focused awareness and also this is really about recognising the signs and making a choice as to how best to move forward.
Having been in a toxic and mutually unhealthy relationship with a partner who exhibited these coping strategies for BPD with various intensities and frequencies; I have to say, at that time I simply didn’t understand what was happening or why they behaved that way. I did not understand many of our interaction. They often made little sense, more often than not no sense at all.
Arguments would frequently erupt from nowhere. My then partner would shout, make fists become verbally aggressive and abusive. In short a kind of totally unpredictable angry temper tantrum. Their raging arguments were paradoxical with what I perceived as frequent double standards that simply could not be reasoned out. I had no real idea how or why these would start arguments, but now I know, it is just one way of coping:
When you get to understand what childhood circumstances created these coping mechanisms or behavioural imprints ( DSM-IV-TR, The Angry Heart ) it is actually very easy to forgive and feel real compassion for an ex partner or even a current one; It is also very easy to forgive yourself. But when you don’t know, it is all too easy to feel hurt, used, manipulated, cheated and abused. This is the victim role. You can lose your sense of self value and self respect; Because you love them so you keep going back … for more of the same and so the cycle continues.
BPD Criteria and Coping Mechanisms
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects and markedly impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by five ( or more ) of the following :
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self damaging ( spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
5. Recurrent suicidal behaviours, gestures or threats of self-mutilating behaviour.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood ( intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger ( frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights ).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or sever dissociative symptoms.
DSM – IV -TR
Part Two of this article will go on to explore the issue of blame and responsibility. Part Three will offer suggestions and ways, that as a survivor of specifically this kind of toxic relationship you can heal your emotional past and then move forward in life with a genuine sense of forgiveness and compassion.
“The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.”
Norman Vincent Peale
Spirituality In Coaching and Therapy – Newcastle NLP and Hypnosis Cafe Monday 7th February 7-9pm : Gosforth Library Newcastle NE3 3HD : £10 Including Biscuits. Book online below.
When we come direct from heart space we create an energetic connection that surpasses the concept of empathy or our multi-sensory capacity. In doing so we create the neutral void that two souls can share to explore, discover, test, challenge and shift. For us, this is our recipe for lasting and generative change.
So in this café Paula and Nigel will facilitate your unpacking of the deeper and more connecting ways in which yours and our therapeutic alliances work. How they are formed, how they grow and the effect and impact they have on our and the world.
We will open and share our thoughts and processes of how to develop co-created alliances by exploring the concepts of projections and reflections prior to, during and after a dynamic interaction. We will also consider projection and reflection in terms of attracting clients into your life for mutual healing and purposeful learnings.
Every person we meet has something to teach us, and every person has something to say that only they can say. We both believe we attract the clients that will help and be beneficial to our ongoing development. This may also include ‘healing’ your past. viz a vie we meet together to co-create something that is more than mutually beneficial …
From this place we’ll look at working from heart space that dynamically co-creates a change process as being fundamental in effective change and evolution work. We will show you how this offers a place that goes way beyond our understanding of rapport. Indeed it transcends the thoughts that if we shared some common value, belief, outcomes, goals and even purpose we can go anywhere in the relationship.
Newcastle NLP and Hypnosis Cafe
Monday 7th February 7-9pm :
Gosforth Library Newcastle NE3 3HD : £10 Including Biscuits.
I run regular trainings in Newcastle for people to become certified Clinical Hypnotherapists and NLP Practitioners. Two days ago I received a call from a perspective participant regarding Hypnotherapy Training. One of their really good questions was “Can I make a living as a Hypnotherapist”.
The answer is a very BIG no and yes!
There are many, many training courses where you can become a qualified therapist, coach or hypnotherapist. Currently there is no legislation in the UK to stop anyone stating they are a ‘hypnotherapist’ or ‘coach’ any reader can do it right now. Some will get a ‘qualification’ yet if you want to make a good living as a professional people helper YOU NEED CLIENTS, no matter how good you think you are or the training you have received.
I strongly recommend Andy Austin’s Brass Bollocks [ if you will follow the process ] and then be prepared to commit to the time it takes to generate lots of clients AND build a reputation and successful practice!
Andy is someone I have done a great deal of training with, who I regard as a truly consummate professional, Andy Austin has stated …
“A little humility will save you a lot of humiliation“.
There are so many products out in the market promising you can make £x,xxx,xxx in a year. This is a big sham! One of the biggest deceptions going in my opinion. There are no get rich quick schemes and if this is what you want you may well be in the wrong profession! Yet, the strategies are generally good BUT it takes time to build a good reputation, referrals and a professional practice.
My personal experience, never bothering to follow any of these get rich schemes was it took me five years to build a profitable practice in therapy. I am an ex-software engineer and have some savi regarding how to build an internet presence that works for you.
I was teaching hypnosis and NLP by 2005 and it is now 2011. This is five years in time and five years in reputations and referrals. Unless you have a massive number of contacts do not expect to make a living as soon as you are qualified. I think this applies to any professional practice, therapy or other …
One of the most important pieces of experience I can offer is you can do it. It usually wont happen over night. It takes practice, time and a real commitment to helping people transform their lives – as well as your own! If you are currently working I suggest you create what I call a ‘parachute fund’ to help you on your way, to transition between a job and a true calling. Don’t do what I did and sell your house to create you business, it is way too risky!
So, I sold my home and quite my job as a full time software developer and programmer to pursue my dream. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone because it was very hard and was a one way ticket to survive and flourish or go bust. I followed my dream …
Anything and everything to do what I love, my family and friends said I was mad to give up a lucrative job … YET … my heart was elsewhere in the future … and eventually … this came true … It was not easy! It is really hard work!!
Follow your heart … … … and at the same time, realise you do need to make a living in the process ….
Some hints and tips on what not to to … Basically don’t lie about yourself.
In therapeutic practice, there are so many people advertising skills they simply haven’t got. For instance …
Do not advertise what you are not or make somewhat ridiculous claims on what you can do for clients. This includes ridiculous fees that simply do not attract clients. The [ ] are examples of what I personally know has failed for certain people who try to present themselves as therapists or coaches.
£125 coaching by skype [ 4 clients in 18 months, two non paying ]
Child behaviour Specialist . [ Physically abusing their children by smacking then in the face and mouth ]
Saying you have 100% client success [ everyone knows this is not so ]
Divorced mother specialisation [ still married and ongoing incredibly troublesome divorce ]
Relationship expert [ 20 years of infidelity and non resolved personal issues ]
Get your magic job [ no income from therapy, dependent on the state for financial support ]
You can make a living doing what you love [ no income except state / partner dependent ]
Make you fees plainly accessible to one and all
The most well known and successful UK therapists are from £125 – per hour or session. These are the people who have 10 to 15 years plus of experience and practice to charge this. Get real. You will not compete with these people right away. These are well developed and recognised professionals. Better to charge £45 per hour and get some clients while building a real reputation.
The real trick here is to build up a practice
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to up your prices especially when they have no clients of their own.
Get your Internet Site presence up and for the world to see.
Make presentations to your local therapy and counselling associations.
Do free work until you have people that will recommend you.
Be true to what you believe is right and set out to make a difference.
Patience and the rest will come with dedication.
Follow your dreams while you study and practice hard!
‘We are all so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value we forget that the inner value the rapture that is associated with being alive is what it’s all about‘ – Joseph Campbell
There is something else, much more to losing weigh and weight loss … and this is a fundamental change of attitude and heart … and … getting a real sense, a knowing if you like, of what you will actually feel and experience from losing weight!
You probably know that the vast majority of people shrink back from the very idea of public speaking.
The fear of public speaking including not being heard, clamming up and potentially making a complete and utter fool of yourself plagues so very many people you would not believe … or actually maybe you DO!!! I know at one time I certainly did!
The more practice you get the more comfortable you can become with public speaking. My own experience of this was, initially it terrified me! Honestly it did. And at some point I realised and grasped what I can say has massive meaning and value to me as well as others.
We all have thoughts, feelings and insight we want to share with the people we really want to connect with. Remember … Your purpose in public or group or peer speaking is to share how and what you feel, think and know for a purpose that is bigger than you that will benefit all.
The Common Problems
There are three very common and often interlinked problems for people facing public speaking and they are this :
You have ( in the past ) had one or more experiences of doing this and it going horribly wrong.
You have worried and worried and worried and … Dun It And … What happened … It went HORRIBLY.
You have worried and worried and worried and … Thought The Worst And … You haven’t even done it yet!
So what is your solution?
Clearing up any problems from the past and literally putting that out of your mind. The past is the past, yet it can come back to haunt you … unless you deal with it.
Starting to cultivate the attitude of what you actually want to have happen. Not what you don’t! The attitude of a truly positive outcome where you are fully able to speak your truth from your heart is empowering. You feeling congruent and confident in and with what you say will show.
Knowing your true purposes and motivations will help you set a direction and focus your intention to talk from your heart and also be heard.
How You Can Speak Your Truth From Your Heart
I can help you remove blocks from the past, set your focus on what you want and make you purpose clear … So you can … speak publicly with a real conviction and congruence.
The majority of traumatic memories or post traumatic stress intrusions can usually be successfully cleared in one to two session.
Here is a demonstration from Hypnotherapist Nigel Hetherington using NLP EMI – Eye Movement Integration to remove the associated emotional residue from a traumatic experience.
NLP Eye Movement Integration is the creation of Steve and Connirae Andreas.
Struggling to become a desirable and healthy weight is one of the most common and often ever present problems people today are facing. Weight issues are not usually genetic, probably not your diet and not destiny. You can change and this means cleaning up your past and changing your attitudes and habits to support more than just losing weight.
There are very many reasons or causes for this problem. Knowing the reasons as to why you are overweight and potentially emotionally depressed with the situation usually wont help you lose weight and keep it off. Changing who you were and becoming the person you want to be will. There is very likely some connection with your past, an emotional issue or maybe a habit and attitude you need to change.
Do you know many over weight people suffer from
Low Self Esteem
Negative Thoughts
Lack Of Confidence
Diet – Comfort Eat – Diet – Comfort Eat Cycles
A Longing To Discover Real Love
If you have tried every diet or self help book you can and are still getting nowhere fast and you are still fat then read on :
There are three things you honestly need to know about and do to make the changes you truly want in your life happen.
Firstly knowing how the benefits of changing your weight will effect you is extremely important. In short there needs to be a real purpose in your losing weight. It is not about losing weight in and of itself. It is what you will get from losing weight. This may be feeling much more confident, feeling more attractive, increased health benefits and leading a more active life in all areas.
Secondly you need to understand there is some underlying emotional pain that is creating and sustaining your current problem. Remember the brain seeks things to make us feel better. Comfort eating can and does alleviate emotional pain BUT it is only temporary. You eat, feel a little better, feel guilty about binging as well as the unresolved emotional pain and then the cycle starts again like ever increasing circles!
Finally you have to do something about it and then get on with living the way you want to live. This involves getting professional help to help you make changes in your attitude and coach you through the change period to a much better life.
The Brain Stuff
The brains main function is to keep the body in which it resides alive and functioning and to find food, reproduce and other vital requirements. It does this by a complex neuro-chemical endogenous reward mechanism. Simply put, finding food, sex and the other essential needs creates a neuro-chemical reward and makes us feel very good. If you continue looking outside yourself for this you always will …
This system of reward is driven sequentially like this:
Stimulus -> Desire -> Action -> Reward
Let’s call this the SDAR cycle.
Stimulus to find food, sex, or other essential need like security. This can come from your environment, like seeing some favourite food, your partner or even looking for a more comfortable or secure living environment. Stimulus can also come from the inside as in when we think about our emotional state, think about problems or think about a missing loved one.
Desire is thinking about what you want and also what is painful in life. When the pain or emotional turbulence becomes too strong you seek to find a way out. One way is finding something to alleviate the pain, this is temporary and may be eating a cake, chocolate or any activity that temporarily shunts negative thoughts, pain or emotional issues off to one side. But they are still there!!
Action in this case, is putting the next best alternative into action. Usually a stop gap measure. This is doing what you have always done and hoping for a different result. It wont happen, sorry. You need to change what you do. And this means a fundamental change in your attitude towards yourself!
Reward is the feeling you get when you do something to alleviate your emotional pain. Your brain releases some good chemicals and you feel good for a short while but it doesn’t last and then the cycle starts again.
What if you can stop this cycle?
What if you can honestly heal the emotional pain that is at the heart of your situation?
What if you really can make and sustain positive changes that will give you the life and feelings you really what to have?
Comfort eating, drinking or any other activity that temporarily assuages the underlying emotional hurt or pain you are feeling and is a substitute for addressing your real needs and desires. You can honestly never get enough of second best! So now is your open window to let some fresh air of change into you life.
And here is your invitation to take action …
Book an appointment, get your life on track and become who are … sooner … than you may have thought possible.
