Monthly Archives: December 2018

Happiness is an inside job? This makes me laugh

There is a growing trend that ‘happiness is an inside job’, meaning that you are solely responsible for your happiness. What a load of tosh! When I see friends I am usually happy, when I share company I am usually happy and when go walking in nature I am usually happy. This is from and in relation to my interactions.

The opposite of good hypnotherapy is the taking on of others, usually a perceived authority figure, beliefs and opinions. It is to me completely ridiculous and seriously reductionist thinking that happiness is an inside job. Not even a hobby!

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Many activities and pastimes I do alone do make me happy. Many interactions, relationships and meaningful communications make me happy. Do you know what it is to be happy?

Happy is not just a word, there are emotional, physical and psychological components as well as the not so often realised environmental aspects.  You are not separate from your environment one little bit; if you feel this and know this from experience you are your environment.

When I wrote this blog title, Happiness is an inside job – make me laugh is a anti-fragile response to other peoples ideas and beliefs, people in perceived authority who are telling people, you, me, anyone who will listen, what to try to think.

My response here, is something much more inclusive and obviously, grounded in my own experience. I invite you to consider this for yourself. Do interactions, relationships with other people and your environment make you happy?

We can not separate our psychology, our biology and our society from this argument, not one bit. It is all relevant and included within the immediate experience we all have. Trumpeting ‘happiness is an inside job’ negates everything that is not categorically you. If you really inquire into this argument, I can tell you that I find this separative and false. Only you can find the truth of this for yourself. Do not believe me, consider this deeply for yourself.

An authority seems to me to communicate, as would be described in Transactional Analysis, an ulterior motive game. This is played on more than two ego states; an example will describe this:

Sales Person : This is the best option, but you can’t afford this
Sales Victim : I will take the best one

Now, one the periphery, the first statement ( Sales Person ) is seemingly communicating Adult to Adult, BUT, there is a second transaction and that is to the Sales Victims Psychological  State ( of a child ). Reframe this all to :

Sales Person : Happiness is an inside job
Sales Victim : I will follow your teachings

This is much more subtle and is the wanting and needing of just about everyone that is wanting and needing to find happiness and beleives some guru or as I say gurukanga has the answers for them. They don’t. At best a guru can become part of your environment ( hence not an inside job ) and with discourse and interaction help. Its not an inside job. Its not an outside job. Its relationship with; not to; with.

“The seat of the soul is where the inner world and the outer world meet. Where they overlap, it is in every point of the overlap.” – Hardenburg

If you are wanting to explore, through coaching and relational explorations and development any and all aspect of life, get in touch. This may be soul stuff where to me happiness is sustained within. Hypnotherapy Newcastle – get in touch.